|
05-01-2003, 06:34 AM
|
#1 (permalink) |
|
Psycho
|
Bad Day
Saint Peter is up at the pearly gates when a guy walks up, wanting to get into heaven. St Peter tells the guy "First I have to make sure you're worthy of going into heaven. To make sure, tell me about the last day of your life on earth." The guy shakes his head at this and says "Well St. Peter, my last day on earth was really awful. I suspected that my wife had been cheating on me, so I left work a few hours early so I could catch her in the act. However, when I went to leave the traffic was so bad it took me an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got there, I could hear her talking to somebody so I knew he was still there. I threw open the door and it she was sitting on the couch, but I could tell by the way she looked nervous that he was still around somewhere. I looked around, and that was when I saw the guy hanging from my balcony! I started kicking his hands as hard as I could, but when he fell he fell onto some bushes. So while he was still stunned, I picked up the fridge, carried it to the balcony, and threw it on top of the guy. Unfortunately, I had a brain aneurism from the stress and died." Needless to say, St. Peter feels pretty sorry for the guy and tells him to go on inside.
Soon after a second guy walks up, and St Peter tells him the same thing. "Well St Peter," the man starts, "You aren't going to believe my day. I'd just gotten home from work, and I decided to do some exercises before I took a shower. I was doing jumping jacks to warm up when I tripped out my rug and fell out the window. I was able to catch the balcony below me; so there I was I was hanging on for dear life, waiting for someone to come help me, when this mad-man runs out and starts kicking my hands until I fall! I finally lose my grip, but fortunately I landed on some bushes and they cushioned the blow. I'm laying there, looking up, and before I can move the same crazy guy comes out with a fridge and drops it on top of me!" St Peter looks pretty concerned, and shakes his head as he tells the guy to go on into heaven, he's earned it. A moment later a third guy comes up, and St Peter tells him to describe his last day on earth like the first two. "Allright," the guy starts. "Picture this. I'm naked, inside a refridgerator."
__________________
"A ouija board just works better if you've made it yourself. It's sortof like how 'Clue' is more interesting when one of you has actually killed someone." |
|
| Tags |
| bad, day |
|
|
