The eternal struggle.
 

Dear Diary,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much.
And I have never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me". I said, "WHAT????" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman".

I am thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept store... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three.
She wanted matching shoes.I said "Lets get a pair for each outfit".
We went to the jewellery dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.I think I
threw her for a loop when I said it was ok.She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when she said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff now."

You should have seen her face...it went completely blank.I then said,"Really honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while" And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man"

I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.

hahah.. good chuckle.

Chris that was awesome. Great post.

absolutely fantastic...feel sorry for you though buddy.

That's defintely one of the funniest things i've ever read!

LOL, thats sooo good.

Very clever.

kekekee

LMAO! For some reason I didn't see that coming whatsoever. and when it came it was damn good! nice bro!

2008 is a looooong time from now :P

bennyb, but you don't know when it was written, do you?

Man he sure wont be getting any for a long loooong time!
Good joke!

Very, very clever!

HAHAHA pure gold@!

Sometimes it's the principle of the thing.

-Mikey

no that was genius. braVO! :P

Getting sex again? I think if you breathe again that's a bonus

Hah! Great one.

man you hit right on the nail.. SOOO SOOsoooo good :D hahaha, brilliant.

What can I say that everyone else hasn't? Great joke!

Disco Stu....I concur...I concur

Yup! good one

*chuckle*

yeah dude, it's gonna be quite a while for ya... :D

hah thats hillarious, that fella deserves a prize

*hawkeye claps loudly

Fantastic.

that was amazing

very funny. thanks for the chuckle

This one is pure gold! Great post!

I wish my balls were that big...

But was it worth it???

:)