Madd

just a few things not to say to a cop

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1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good Job !.

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking ?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes
looked glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

PayUp

always like this list

__________________
Born to Lose.

more fire

hahahahahahaha. that's brilliant.

mechis

hilarious!

jdkash

lol nice

Stare At The Sun

very nice list indeed

tweekman

pretty funny stuff thanks

TerresqueÜ

Good but this must be the 2nd or 3rd time I've seen this!

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slant eyes

great!

i got pulled over once, cuz someone else sped by me so i was pissed. while getting my ticket, the cop walked back to her car and i still had my window down. i was ranting to my then g/f and said, 'betcha that fuckin dyke ass cop is gonna give me a ticket for my cracked windshield too!'

i turn around, and there she was, at my window. her partner then goes, 'oh, look you have a cracked windshield, we'll give you a warning this time, you should get that fixed.'

it actually worked out in my favor cuz she couldn't give me a fix-it ticket cuz then she would be admitting that she was a dyke ass cop

anyways, i fought the ticket off in court.

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no man or woman is worth your tears - and the one who is, won't make you cry

question authority, don't ask why, just do it!

fester

funny stuff!

Nizzle

Hehe, ok, that's pretty good stuff there.

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Nizzle

tenchi069

I love this one

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ERROR- PLBSAK
Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

Regziever

Hehehe!! A good list is always welcome! Good post!

__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine

striderkevin

Cool

__________________
"A false life is equal to death. Be your true self" -Strider Hiryu

Slims

I like that last one the best.

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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

snoop

Q: Have you been drinking?

A: Haven't had a cunt all night drinkstable .

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Insert Witty Slogan Here . . . . .

pkeigs

damn nice list

tfpfreak

seen before but worth reposting thanks

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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

~ Clementine Paddleford

niobius2

We need more cop porn on the titty boart

bparker805

#13... "about a twelve pack and some shooters. What's it to ya?"

oldtimer

I always feel this way when the streets are empty.

__________________
Slowly but surely getting over the loss of TFP v. 3.0.
Where the hell am I?....
Showering once a month does not make you a better person.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

agentsmith

heh, I've used a few of those lines before.

Same Guy

last one is good

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Thank you, come again.

bravo49

I was speeding cos Ineeded a shit. "I'm looking for a shit-house" I said

He replied "You have found one, name and address"

Madd

maby im blind but i cant see it ne more, ah well, humour is more fun.

skysooner

Another one.

I have been driving all night and need some energy food. Where is the nearest Dunkin Doughnuts?