nympho convention - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

homerhop · 07-31-2003, 12:16 AM

A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in,he glances up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane
He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat.
A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business or vacation?"
"Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago," she states.
Whoa, he thinks !!!---Here's the most gorgeous woman he has eve seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer", she says. "I use my experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact,it is the Native
American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Irish descent!!

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes.
"I'm sorry," She says, "I shouldn't be discussing this with you,I don't even know your name!"
"Tonto," the man says, as he extends his hand. "Tonto Murphy"

danno209 · 07-31-2003, 12:57 AM

hah nice one

Great Scott · 07-31-2003, 01:42 AM

Very cool. Gave me a good chuckle.

The.Lunatic · 07-31-2003, 02:01 AM

for the less elequent

http://dictionary.reference.com/sear...ymphomaniac%20

Sleepyjack · 07-31-2003, 04:36 AM

nice. Is there any truth in that? (about indians and irish) or is it merely for the sterotyped names that give a good punchline?

tfpfreak · 07-31-2003, 05:16 AM

haha thanks

egorey · 07-31-2003, 05:26 AM

just wondering how she did her research...

tenchi069 · 07-31-2003, 09:05 AM

she observed at the old folks retirement home

Regziever · 07-31-2003, 11:47 AM

Hehehe!! Really smooth!!

yankeefatboy · 07-31-2003, 03:25 PM

that's one for work. Thanks.

deselina · 07-31-2003, 03:37 PM

PayUp · 07-31-2003, 04:27 PM

that was good, didn't see it coming

mystmarimatt · 08-04-2003, 09:55 PM

i heard a version where it was native americans and poles. and length and circumference, not best lovers. the guy said his name was Tonto Kowalski.

microdot · 08-04-2003, 11:44 PM

I heard it with native americans and jews.

Tonto Greenburg.

cchris · 08-05-2003, 07:05 AM

An oldie but a goodie.
Reminds me of "Welcome to Jamaica,have a nice day".

Happyland · 08-05-2003, 09:18 AM

love that pic cchris anyway about that donkey I think that was a problem for everybody

BrinlyNoya · 08-05-2003, 09:21 PM

wait, I'm an irish-native american girl........... what does that say about me?! hah

twisted_elmo · 08-06-2003, 04:24 AM

Hey I'm part Irish and Part Cherokee... However I guess I got the wrong part if this is true

onetime2 · 08-06-2003, 06:33 AM

Definitely an oldie.

Realizm · 08-06-2003, 08:35 AM

Gonna tell that one to my friend..

xepherys · 09-21-2007, 05:52 PM

LOL, funny stuff!

Redlemon · 09-24-2007, 08:11 AM

Wow, that's an old thread. Nonetheless, I liked Stephen Wright's version better, but perhaps that's because I heard it first from him.

Quote:

One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl... I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?," and she said, "I saw my analyst today and he says I have a problem." So I asked, "What's the problem?" She replied, "I can't tell you. I don't even know you..." I said, "Well sometimes it's good to tell your problems to a perfect stranger on a bus." So she said, "Well, my analyst said I'm a nymphomaniac and I only like Jewish cowboys... by the way, my name is Denise." I said, "Hello, Denise. My name is Bucky Goldstein..."

Plan9 · 09-24-2007, 09:24 AM

As men... we all know what a nymphomaniac is!

The woman we're looking for during the first 30 years of our lives.

Push-Pull · 09-25-2007, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

As men... we all know what a nymphomaniac is!

The woman we're looking for during the first 30 years of our lives.

Ah crap, nobody told me to stop at 30!

07-31-2003, 12:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
homerhop Insane Location: ÉIRE	nympho convention A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in,he glances up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business or vacation?" "Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago," she states. Whoa, he thinks !!!---Here's the most gorgeous woman he has eve seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer", she says. "I use my experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact,it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Irish descent!! Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," She says, "I shouldn't be discussing this with you,I don't even know your name!" "Tonto," the man says, as he extends his hand. "Tonto Murphy" __________________ its evolution baby

07-31-2003, 02:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	for the less elequent http://dictionary.reference.com/sear...ymphomaniac%20 __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

07-31-2003, 05:16 AM	#6 (permalink)
tfpfreak Crazy Location: MS	haha thanks __________________ Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. ~ Clementine Paddleford

07-31-2003, 11:47 AM	#9 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	Hehehe!! Really smooth!! __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

07-31-2003, 04:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
PayUp DILLIGAF Location: AZ	that was good, didn't see it coming __________________ Born to Lose.

07-31-2003, 12:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
danno209 Upright	hah nice one

07-31-2003, 01:42 AM	#3 (permalink)
Great Scott Insane Location: In a huge maze just trying to find my cheese	Very cool. Gave me a good chuckle.

07-31-2003, 04:36 AM	#5 (permalink)
Sleepyjack Fast'n'Bulbous Location: Australia, Perth	nice. Is there any truth in that? (about indians and irish) or is it merely for the sterotyped names that give a good punchline?

07-31-2003, 05:26 AM	#7 (permalink)
egorey Crazy	just wondering how she did her research...

07-31-2003, 09:05 AM	#8 (permalink)
tenchi069 Lost Location: One step closer to the padded cell...	she observed at the old folks retirement home

07-31-2003, 03:25 PM	#10 (permalink)
yankeefatboy Addict Location: northern california	that's one for work. Thanks.

08-04-2003, 09:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
mystmarimatt Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind Location: Oreegawn	i heard a version where it was native americans and poles. and length and circumference, not best lovers. the guy said his name was Tonto Kowalski. __________________ Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

08-04-2003, 11:44 PM	#14 (permalink)
microdot Crazy	I heard it with native americans and jews. Tonto Greenburg.

08-05-2003, 07:05 AM	#15 (permalink)
cchris Junkie Location: Sydney	An oldie but a goodie. Reminds me of "Welcome to Jamaica,have a nice day". __________________ There's a fine line between participation and mockery

08-05-2003, 09:18 AM	#16 (permalink)
Happyland Insane Location: where happiness lives	love that pic cchris anyway about that donkey I think that was a problem for everybody __________________ someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

07-31-2003, 03:37 PM	#11 (permalink)
deselina Upright

08-06-2003, 06:33 AM	#19 (permalink)
onetime2 Junkie Location: NJ	Definitely an oldie. __________________ Strive to be more curious than ignorant.

09-21-2007, 05:52 PM	#21 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	LOL, funny stuff! __________________ The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible... -- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato My Homepage

08-05-2003, 09:21 PM	#17 (permalink)
BrinlyNoya Crazy	wait, I'm an irish-native american girl........... what does that say about me?! hah

08-06-2003, 04:24 AM	#18 (permalink)
twisted_elmo Psycho Location: upstate	Hey I'm part Irish and Part Cherokee... However I guess I got the wrong part if this is true __________________ Having fun Yet?

08-06-2003, 08:35 AM	#20 (permalink)
Realizm Insane Location: A fuzzy cloud.	Gonna tell that one to my friend..

09-24-2007, 09:24 AM	#23 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	As men... we all know what a nymphomaniac is! The woman we're looking for during the first 30 years of our lives. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."