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07-21-2003, 10:17 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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The Mass of Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
(Huskies) chemistry midterm. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing with time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year—"…that it would be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.:-- and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true; and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. The student Received the only "A" given. |
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07-21-2003, 10:50 PM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Eccentric insomniac
Location: North Carolina
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One of my physics teachers passed that out in class. It's still funny, thanks.
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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence |
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07-22-2003, 02:35 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Sky Piercer
Location: Ireland
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The author is among us.
no...really... Meridae'n wrote it. honest.  http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=14563
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07-22-2003, 03:06 PM
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#11 (permalink) | |
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Psycho
Location: Texas
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Quote:
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07-23-2003, 09:41 AM
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#15 (permalink) | ||
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Upright
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Quote:
Quote:
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01-17-2005, 10:24 PM
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#18 (permalink) |
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Loose Cunt
Location: North Bondi RSL
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What the fuck?
I must be the only one who is full of shit here... BTW CSflim, you'll keep old mate.
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up? |
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| hell, mass |
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