uncle phil

Frank and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf outing. Unfortunately, he had to tell them he couldn't go because his wife wouldn't let him.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Frank headed home totally frustrated. The following week Frank's buddies arrived at the resort to play golf. They were shocked to see Frank sitting in the lobby, drinking a well-made marguerita and admiring his putter!

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go, Frank?"

"I didn't have to" Frank replied. "Last night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the wife sneaked up behind me, covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee. She said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and do whatever you want'...SO, HERE I AM!"

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

KellyC

Hahahahhaaa!!!!

__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

Xerxys

^^ What he said!

Capnkeez

fucking hoss....