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-   -   Olympic Commentators ... (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/139565-olympic-commentators.html)

nrclark 08-27-2008 06:58 AM

Olympic Commentators ...
 
1.. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

2.. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

3.. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

4.. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

5.. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

6.. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

7.. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

8.. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... '

...:thumbsup:

PonyPotato 08-27-2008 07:03 AM

These are pretty good. :)

snowy 08-27-2008 10:57 AM

My face hurts from laughing.

kutulu 08-27-2008 01:46 PM

Not to be a fun killer, but....

snopes.com: Olympic Games

snowy 08-27-2008 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kutulu (Post 2514208)
Not to be a fun killer, but....

snopes.com: Olympic Games

Yeah, I saw that shortly thereafter, but it doesn't really make it any less funny. And in fact, the Snopes entry is pretty funny in and of itself.

ratbastid 08-27-2008 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nrclark (Post 2513986)
9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... '

I'll bet that makes his racket stand on end!

... is more or less what Johnny Carson said when this was said to him of Arnold Palmer's wife kissing his balls before a big tournament. Although Johnny said it about his putter.

Although actually he didn't. It's one of those apocryphal classic TV bits that never actually happened. Like Grouch's "I love my cigar" joke, which he made on his radio show but which was cut before it aired. The only people who ever heard that joke were the studio audience. But thousands and thousand of people claim that they ACTUALLY REMEMBER seeing it on TV.


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