Mantus

A coala bear sees a woman sitting at the bar and strickes up a conversation. After a couple of drinks she takes him back to her place. An hour later the coala bear gets up to leave and she says, "where you going, you owe me money". The bear a little confused asks why he has to give her money. "I am a prostitute" she repplies. "Well I am a coala bear just doing my thing". So she takes out a dictionary, opens it to "prostitute" and hands it to the bear. It reads: prostitute, a woman who has sex for money. "Thats cool", says the coala bear and opens the dictionary to "coala bears". It says: Coala Bear, a furry animal that eats bush and leaves.

Plan9

HAHAHAH... nice.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Redlemon

"Koala", unless there is a regional spelling that I'm not familiar with.

(I don't mean to be pedantic, but the word is kind of crucial to the joke.)

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

telekinetic

Additional pedantism: Koalas only eat eucalyptus leaves, not bush...and wouldn't it need to be the plural, bushes? The joke still kind of works, you'd just have to add another prostitute to justify the plural "bushes" and switch animals to, say, a sloth or a panda or something.

__________________
twisted no more

Redlemon

This is my favorite part of TFP Humor: dissecting a joke until it lies bleeding on the floor.

And pandas only eat bamboo shoots, right? Does anything eat bushes?

__________________
I can't read your signature. Sorry.

vanblah

Rampant freedom!

Martian

It's a dirty variation on the old 'eats shoots and leaves' joke that every English major knows, except that it doesn't really work.

Ah well.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

ratbastid

It works if you're an English major.

Biology major, not so much.

Martian

Except that all the English majors would be wondering at the lack of pluralization.

The original:

A panda bear walks into a pub. He sits down at a table and orders a huge platter of fish and chips. He proceeds to fill his face; then, upon completing his meal he pulls out a revolver, fires several shots into the ceiling and calmly exits.

A patron turns to the bartender and asks, 'what the hell was that about?'

The bartender opens up a dictionary to the entry on panda bears and places it in front of the patron, who reads, 'Panda bear: n 1. A large ursine mammal native to East Asia; eats shoots and leaves.'

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

telekinetic

As I said, a second prostitute (and a K) would appease English majors. A different herbavore (or omnivore) would appease biology majors.

__________________
twisted no more

cyklone

I thought it was "eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."

telekinetic

I had never heard it that way, but it is plausible if we change our animal again, and add a sports game

__________________
twisted no more

vanblah

"Root" is also a euphemism for sexual intercourse.

bjambjam

I think we are missing the big picture ...
Damn funny joke!

__________________
"Be the change you want to see in the world"

The_Jazz

Only if said with a Southern accent....

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

casual user

i do

xepherys

... uhm ...

__________________
The prospect of achieving a peace agreement with the extremist group of MILF is almost impossible...
-- Emmanuel Pinol, Governor of Cotobato

My Homepage

thebeat

hahaha.

__________________
random