Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-07-2007, 08:33 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
Sticky's Avatar
 
Joe, you have a very rare condition

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.

A s Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
__________________
Sticky The Stickman
Sticky is offline  
Old 03-07-2007, 08:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
Found my way back
 
healer's Avatar
 
Location: South Africa
I bet one of those anime-droplets formed on Joe's head when the tailor told him that.

__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Ok - can I edit my posts to read "what healer said"?
healer is offline  
Old 03-07-2007, 09:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
Devils Cabana Boy
 
Dilbert1234567's Avatar
 
Location: Central Coast CA
oldy but a goodie.
__________________
Donate Blood!

"Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen
Dilbert1234567 is offline  
Old 03-07-2007, 02:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
Darth Papa
 
ratbastid's Avatar
 
Location: Yonder
Ah, but see, the joke's on the tailor! Joe doesn't have balls anymore! Ha ha!!
ratbastid is offline  
Old 03-07-2007, 05:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
Mistress of Mayhem
 
Lady Sage's Avatar
 
Location: Canton, Ohio
Doh!!!!
__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open
.
It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper
Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch.
Lady Sage is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 02:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
Insane
 
Darth_Kettch's Avatar
 
Location: Norway
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
Ah, but see, the joke's on the tailor! Joe doesn't have balls anymore! Ha ha!!
I see what you did there
Darth_Kettch is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 07:42 PM   #7 (permalink)
Junkie
 
SirLance's Avatar
 
Location: In the middle of the desert.
That's a good joke!
__________________
DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.
SirLance is offline  
Old 03-08-2007, 07:50 PM   #8 (permalink)
Americow, the Beautiful
 
Supple Cow's Avatar
 
Location: Washington, D.C.
HaHA! Two LOLs in one thread. Priceless.
Supple Cow is offline  
Old 03-30-2007, 11:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
Jetée's Avatar
 
Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
Ah, but see, the joke's on the tailor! Joe doesn't have balls anymore! Ha ha!!
ROFLMAO! Now that statement should be included in the joke as the new punchline.
__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.
Mohandas K. Gandhi
Jetée is offline  
Old 03-30-2007, 03:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It!
 
Daniel_'s Avatar
 
Location: Southern England
Very good, and new to me.
__________________
╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine

╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝
Daniel_ is offline  
Old 03-30-2007, 05:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
Psycho
 
oldie but funny.
deportes is offline  
 

Tags
condition, joe, rare


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:05 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360