Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Humor (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/)
-   -   FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS) (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-humor/107699-lexophiles-lovers-words.html)

Brewmaniac 08-19-2006 09:49 AM

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)
 
1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
(Sirlance, I didn't know you were a Lexophile; re: his sig)
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell on a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

Dilbert1234567 08-19-2006 01:42 PM

groan... chuckle, groan...:thumbsup:

streak_56 08-19-2006 03:53 PM

most of those made me laugh... good word play

Toaster126 08-19-2006 04:21 PM

I can see a bunch of uptight English teachers laughing around a faculty table about this. :)

SirLance 08-20-2006 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brewmaniac
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
(Sirlance, I didn't know you were a Lexophile; re: his sig)

Well, there wasn't much TV in the jungle...

Actually, I became a lexophile in high school. My english teacher was hot... but teachers weren't banging their students back then...

Great list, Brew!

Ilow 08-20-2006 10:54 AM

funny list. a couple real groaners in there.

Silvy 08-20-2006 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brewmaniac
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

This is the best one, for sure!
:thumbsup:

Great list!

nrclark 08-21-2006 01:36 AM

"chuckleworthy" , as they say ...


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 09:25 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2026, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62