cierah

I found this online as I was looking for personalized wedding vows. I think they are hilarious.
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Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?

Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.

Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you're happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I'll love through good and bad,
Whether we're happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you're rich?
Or if you're poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her if we're rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I'll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you're fit,
And also when you're feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I'll love her when we're fit,
And when we're hurt, and when we're sick,
And I will love her when we're rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I'll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we're rich,
And when we're broke and in a ditch,
And when we're fit, and when we're sick,
(Oh, CAN'T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I'll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you'll take her as your wife,
And if you'll love her all your life,
And if you'll have, and if you'll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you'll love through good and bad,
And whether you're happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you're poor, and when in wealth,
And if you'll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you'll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You're married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.

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"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

Vizzini

If that was for real I can't even imaging having trying to mesmorize that

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Inconceivable!

Lady Sage

Someone read too many Dr. Seuss books as a child hahahahahaha!

CaliLivChick

When did Dr. Seuss start writing wedding vows?

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Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

Lady Sage

To my knowledge he never did, however, these sound much like green eggs and ham to me.

cierah

Yeah. They weren't written by Suess just some random who thought it would be funny. Also, they weren't actually used - prolly just one last ditch effort to get out of the wedding.
"here, dear, I wrote our vows... "

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"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories" -Stainslaw J. Lec

mo42

I'm glad I just went with the standard repeat-after-me thing, rather than that.

__________________
It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

genuinegirly

hehe - yeah, definitely a Dr. Seuss wedding. I wonder if the pastor wore a red striped hat.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

Charlatan

I am getting married on Friday... maybe I should spring these on my wife...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Redlemon

So, what does the bride say?

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.