Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-20-2006, 04:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Barbeque Season

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 04:13 AM   #2 (permalink)
spudly
 
ubertuber's Avatar
 
Location: Ellay
Sometimes you have to turn the meet over too. Sheesh.
__________________
Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam
ubertuber is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 04:19 AM   #3 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by ubertuber
Sometimes you have to turn the meet over too. Sheesh.
My mistake...

After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

A Very Important Part

7a) THE MAN FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE

Important again:

7b) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lesson Learned
12) MAN GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 04:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
Found my way back
 
healer's Avatar
 
Location: South Africa
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
... probably because there is some of danger involved.
'nuff said.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Jazz
Ok - can I edit my posts to read "what healer said"?
healer is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 06:08 AM   #5 (permalink)
Getting it.
 
Charlatan's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
That's not how it works at my house...
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
Charlatan is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 06:09 AM   #6 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
That's not how it works at my house...
Gawd, do I need to redo the joke to exclude Charlatan?
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 06:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Antikarma's Avatar
 
Location: Yellowknife, NWT
Is it BBQ season down south? Damn it's still below zero and a few feet of snow outside.


Hey, if I put the barbeque in the bathroom, the fan should keep the smoke detector from going off? hmmmmmmmm.
__________________
"Whoever you are, go out into the evening,
leaving your room, of which you know each bit;
your house is the last before the infinite,
whoever you are."
Antikarma is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 12:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: under a rock
Actually at the last barbecue I put the meat on AND took it off...the men were responsible for squirting lighter fluid on things and watchign them explode.
__________________
There's no justice. There's just us.
Acetylene is offline  
Old 04-20-2006, 08:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
Boo
Leave me alone!
 
Boo's Avatar
 
Location: Alaska, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antikarma
Is it BBQ season down south? Damn it's still below zero and a few feet of snow outside.
We BBQ all winter.

My job has additional duties. I actually have to season the meat..... salt and pepper is essential.
__________________
Back button again, I must be getting old.
Boo is offline  
Old 04-21-2006, 02:08 AM   #10 (permalink)
Zyr
Crazy
 
Location: Hamilton, NZ
Right, the super special, limited, collecters edition, directors cut, of the joke, made specially for Charlatan




After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man (not Charlatan) will do, probably because there is some of danger involved.

When a man (not Charlatan) volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man (still not Charlatan) who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

4) THE MAN (NOT CHARLATAN) PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man (really, it's not Charlatan) that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

A Very Important Part

7a) THE MAN (I'M SERIOUS, IT'S NOT CHARLATAN) FLIPS THE MEAT ON THE GRILL TO COOK THE OTHER SIDE

Important again:

7b) THE MAN (ANTI-CHARLATAN) TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN (DO I HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN?) and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11) The man (not Charlatan) asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lesson Learned
12) MAN (CHARLATAN... NAH, I'M KIDDING, IT'S STILL NOT CHARLATAN) GETS NO SEX THAT EVENING...
__________________
"Oh, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83 when I was the only practitioner of it, and I stopped because I was tired of being stared at."

Omnia mutantu, nos et mutamur in illis.
All things change, and we change with them.
- Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602
Zyr is offline  
Old 04-21-2006, 03:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
heh, I think charlatan's comment had something to do witht he fact that perhaps he does the shopping and all the prep work -- and does give his lovely wife the evening off - which of course means - He does get sex ... whenever he wants
__________________
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
maleficent is offline  
Old 04-21-2006, 05:15 AM   #12 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by maleficent
...He does get sex ... whenever he wants...
So, you're not married, then.
TwoToTango is offline  
Old 04-24-2006, 03:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
...is a comical chap
 
Grasshopper Green's Avatar
 
Location: Where morons reign supreme
Haha, I'm going to have to share this with my stepmother...this is exactly how bbq's at my dad's house goes...except he also makes his killer whiskey sours and everyone mellows out
__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa
Grasshopper Green is offline  
 

Tags
barbeque, season

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:23 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360