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Political Correctness
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER; she is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. She is not EASY; she is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE. She is not a SLUT; she is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. She is not a TWO BIT WHORE; she is a LOW COST PROVIDER. HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. He is not a BAD DANCER; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST. He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT. He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT. He does not CONSTANTLY TALK ABOUT CARS; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION. He is not UNSOPHISTICATED; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED. He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA. He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE. He doesn't have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS. |
Ha! I like some of those - though I do know one or two girls who exibit more than most of those so-called male traits, and vice-versa.
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