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03-21-2006, 07:39 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Searching for the perfect brew!
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‘Operation Incomprehensible Program’
This made me laugh out loud!
‘Operation Incomprehensible Program’ The U.S. military is hoping to confuse Iraq insurgents with details of Washington’s new prescription drug program. WEB-EXCLUSIVE SATIRE By Andy Borowitz Newsweek Updated: 2:08 p.m. ET March 21, 2006 March 21, 2006 - In an effort to confuse Iraqi insurgents, the Pentagon announced today that the United States has begun bombarding insurgent positions with copies of President Bush's Medicare prescription drug plan. At a press briefing at the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the idea of confusing the insurgents with the Medicare plan was hatched last week, after Bush appeared at a series of town hall meetings at which seniors in his audience seemed thoroughly bewildered by the intricate new program. "We realized, if this prescription drug plan is that confusing in English, imagine how incoherent it would seem once it was translated into Arabic," Rumsfeld said. As soon as Pentagon planners seized upon the idea of using the president's plan to confuse the insurgents, Operation Incomprehensible Program was launched. According to Rumsfeld, U.S. warplanes pounded insurgent positions in the cities of Tikrit and Najaf with copies of the prescription drug plan in the early morning hours of Monday. Rumsfeld said that satellite photos of those positions have been encouraging thus far, showing dozens of Iraqi insurgents reading the prescription drug plan and scratching their heads. The Defense Secretary said he was hopeful that Operation Incomprehensible Program would leave the Iraqi insurgents totally baffled, but he hinted that the Pentagon had other tactics up its sleeve: "We are fully prepared to bombard them with copies of my press briefings." Elsewhere, one day after Seoul National University dismissed him for falsifying results, South Korean cloning scientist Hwang Woo-Suk claimed that the other nine of him still had jobs. © 2006 MSNBC.com URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11945021/site/newsweek/
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" |
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03-21-2006, 09:28 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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Its for real? Jeez, talk about desperate measure
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war |
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03-22-2006, 08:15 AM
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#3 (permalink) | ||
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Searching for the perfect brew!
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Quote:
Quote:
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son". 
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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 03-22-2006 at 08:27 AM.. |
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03-22-2006, 09:13 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Free Mars!
Location: I dunno, there's white people around me saying "eh" all the time
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Ah, I didn't know who Andy Borowitz was
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Looking out the window, that's an act of war. Staring at my shoes, that's an act of war. Committing an act of war? Oh you better believe that's an act of war |
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03-22-2006, 09:15 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Moderator Emeritus
Location: Chicago
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http://www.borowitzreport.com/
is absolute brilliance... and who moved my soap, the ceo's guide to surviving prison is a riot...
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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| Tags |
| incomprehensible, program’, ‘operation |
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