Giant Hamburger

The Ur-burger: Secret Origins of the Hamburger

Time: 13th Century
Location: The Russian tundra

The first recorded "burger history" shows that nomadic horseman laid the groundwork for the modern-day hamburger. Then, Mongolian and Tartar warriors, who loved the taste of raw steaks, softened their filets by placing them under the saddles of their horses while riding into battle or on marauding parties.
Later, when it was time to eat, the filet would be eaten raw, having been tenderized by the saddle and the back of the horse. Supposedly, this is the origins of the delicacy steak tartar, the raw first step to hamburger.

A Mongol warrior prepares for his deserved lunch:

Peetster

Looks more like he is playing polo and dropped his mallet. :-)

Wouldn't the beef be all sweaty and gross?

rockogre

And hairy?

Sounds bad but then it has been a while since I have been a member of a marauding party and had to eat what I could get.

However, I guess I could wrap it in foil and put it under my bike seat and let the engine tenderize and cook it for me. It's kind of the same thing and I could pretend I was Genghis Kahn or something. Hey bones, want to go Maurading?

Kind of makes you appreciate the lowly hamburger more, doesn't it?

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

Giant Hamburger

Horse lather, the forgotten condiment...

(imagine, if you will, an image of horse lather)

Giant Hamburger

Hail Goodman Rockorgre!
Do not forget to invite this guy:

Peetster

My old friend the mongol martian.

OK, Giant Hamburger, you know I am a fan. In fact, I had some of your cousins tonight for dinner: the murrays-foodchain-not-quite-meat-but-close-enough-if-seared-over-a-hot-bbq-grill-hamburgers. But I'm not sure where you are going with this.

Giant Hamburger

I too am unsure.
I am also inscrutable.
Do not attempt to scrut me.
-GH

Peetster

Giant Hamburger,

Never would I scrut you. To prove my integrity, I introduce to you my friend number three. I'm sure you are on a first name basis. Say hello to an old friend! Doesn't he look tasty? I reintroduce you to prove my allegiance to the mighty hamburger.

nefarious

ew.. that must have been a weird tasting meat ..

not only is there a huge chance of salomanella .. (cant remember how it's spelled ..damnit) .. but now some strange disease from the horse.. yay!

__________________
Si vis pacem, para bellum.
- Vegetius "Do Re Mil.3, Prol.

Giant Hamburger

Well said, mighty Peetster!
Your works are known to me and respected.
Let this burger of the past remind us of how far we have come.
From raw burger in horse funk to your salubrious number three.
-GH

paddyjoe

I can't help but remember the late, great Dave Thomas. Was he descendant from the Mongol or the Tartar? If the later,was it he that brought the sauce tartar to our table? I owe him so much, yet know so little. Please help to educate me, great hamburger disciples.

Hanxter

rockogre

It only seems appropriate in this thread to have a moment of silence for Dave Thomas
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Thank you, carry on.

__________________
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G. I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom

Giant Hamburger

No, thank you, Master Rockogre. You are sensitive to the ways of the hamburger.

Dave Thomas took his love of the hamburger further than I could ever dream of doing. I hope to start a Legendary Hamburger thread about him in the not-too-distant-future. That is, if I am not shunned and ostracized by posting too much about hamburgers. I imagine that Dave, like myself, thought about them all the time. He too, was all about the kids...
]
I will pay the appropriate homage to him tonight in the late night drive-through.
-GH