Write your Eulogy - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

BigBen · 01-27-2006, 07:45 AM

This been done before?

If so, Mods please delete, and ban me for not using search properly. I searched, I really did.

Premise: Put your Eulogy here (the speech that your friend or loved one has to read at your funeral), tell us who you want to read it. Feel free to add to other TFP'ers eulogies as well;

Start:

To all those gathered, I am sure Ben is glad that you came. First, I have to thank the Pipes and Drums for playing that kicking 4/4 march.

Second, you will all see that there is a flask of Scotch in front of you in the pews. Please feel free to pass it around, and take the flasks home. There is also an open bar in the back. Ben said that if you get stupid, a vote will be taken and you might get a fucking beating, so keep it under control.

Ben was a weird duck, by any standards. He was always causing shit, if it was funny. This unfortunately caused his slow rank progression. He didn't mind.

He loved learning, and continued his education until the time of his death. Although he never published anything academic, he loved Economics and the decision making process of individuals and businesses.

He always wanted to publish his memoires, and everyone here can remember that whirlwind book tour he took in Europe when his dream was realized.

He loved Food, Drink and Women, although not necessarily in that order. He had 4 terms in Parliament, making good decisions and helping his country. He entered the Guinness Book of World Records 15 years ago, and the good folks at Guinness say that they will no longer accept attempts made for that record, in homage to the great man.

Ben was the first politician to fully understand the power of the Internet, and how to bring people together. His healthcare and his childcare plans were ahead of their time, and the "Ben" model of care is taught across public administration spectrums today.

To finish, Ben wanted his casket filled with lead, and have his political opponents be his pallbearers. I hope you guys ate your wheaties!

Let us all join together in singing : Roxanne by The Police.

Giant Hamburger · 01-27-2006, 12:32 PM

Mine would be simple...

"The Giant Hamburger is dead! It is now safe to return to your villages."

Preferably said through a loud speaker on top of a slow moving car as it cruises the streets.

01-27-2006, 07:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Write your Eulogy This been done before? If so, Mods please delete, and ban me for not using search properly. I searched, I really did. Premise: Put your Eulogy here (the speech that your friend or loved one has to read at your funeral), tell us who you want to read it. Feel free to add to other TFP'ers eulogies as well; Start: To all those gathered, I am sure Ben is glad that you came. First, I have to thank the Pipes and Drums for playing that kicking 4/4 march. Second, you will all see that there is a flask of Scotch in front of you in the pews. Please feel free to pass it around, and take the flasks home. There is also an open bar in the back. Ben said that if you get stupid, a vote will be taken and you might get a fucking beating, so keep it under control. Ben was a weird duck, by any standards. He was always causing shit, if it was funny. This unfortunately caused his slow rank progression. He didn't mind. He loved learning, and continued his education until the time of his death. Although he never published anything academic, he loved Economics and the decision making process of individuals and businesses. He always wanted to publish his memoires, and everyone here can remember that whirlwind book tour he took in Europe when his dream was realized. He loved Food, Drink and Women, although not necessarily in that order. He had 4 terms in Parliament, making good decisions and helping his country. He entered the Guinness Book of World Records 15 years ago, and the good folks at Guinness say that they will no longer accept attempts made for that record, in homage to the great man. Ben was the first politician to fully understand the power of the Internet, and how to bring people together. His healthcare and his childcare plans were ahead of their time, and the "Ben" model of care is taught across public administration spectrums today. To finish, Ben wanted his casket filled with lead, and have his political opponents be his pallbearers. I hope you guys ate your wheaties! Let us all join together in singing : Roxanne by The Police. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis. Last edited by BigBen; 01-27-2006 at 07:47 AM..

01-27-2006, 12:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Mine would be simple... "The Giant Hamburger is dead! It is now safe to return to your villages." Preferably said through a loud speaker on top of a slow moving car as it cruises the streets.