Just once before she dies - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

passiongal · 12-11-2005, 05:19 AM

My sister-in-law wants a threesome with two men, just once before she dies. No strings attached. She is shy though, and I was trying to think of a plan to set this up. However, I don't have much of a diabolical mind.

first I thought that I would get her two male strippers for her birthday and schedule them to show up when she is home alone, but I think if I offer them "extra" for extra service, they would think it's a sting or something, or they just might not be interested.

Then I thought that instead, I could hire two male (um gigalos or whatever they call them these days) to pose as strippers and send them over.

Then I found out that she is going on a cruise in April or May and I thought that I could put an ad on a singles website, telling them what is going on and offering to pay half the price of a cruise ship ticket for them to go on the same cruise and put the make on her.

She is shy, but horny and I admit that I am getting a bit of a vicarious thrill just imagining it.

Frankly, I think all of these plans suck. I am in the position of trying to set her up with two men for a threesome without her knowing it... at least not until afterwards

Anyway, if you were in my shoes, how would you go about it?

maleficent · 12-11-2005, 05:52 AM

Make sure that it's something that she really wants to do... it's one thing to talk about it and fantasize about it... but to actually go thru wiht it is completely different...

passiongal · 12-11-2005, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Make sure that it's something that she really wants to do... it's one thing to talk about it and fantasize about it... but to actually go thru wiht it is completely different...

Yes, I forgot to mention. She isn't terminally ill or anything. She is in her mid forties and quite "easy on the eyes" as they say. Very pretty woman.

She first told me about it 10 years ago, and it has come up several times since. She literally said "just once before I die". What she says now is "just once before I am too old."

aps · 12-11-2005, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passiongal

Yes, I forgot to mention. She isn't terminally ill or anything. She is in her mid forties and quite "easy on the eyes" as they say. Very pretty woman.

She first told me about it 10 years ago, and it has come up several times since. She literally said "just once before I die". What she says now is "just once before I am too old."

Hmmmm, I worry about her safety with strangers. Two men together could overpower her and really do some damage if they really wanted to. What about disease? I know they could use condoms, but giving oral sex to a man still exposes a woman to HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

Okay, having said that, do you have any male friends who you could ask if they had friends that would be up for that? I would rather your sister be with people who are friends of friends. The whole "stranger" thing worries me. I would hate to think her fantasy turned out to be a disaster.

passiongal · 12-11-2005, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aps

Hmmmm, I worry about her safety with strangers. Two men together could overpower her and really do some damage if they really wanted to. What about disease? I know they could use condoms, but giving oral sex to a man still exposes a woman to HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

Okay, having said that, do you have any male friends who you could ask if they had friends that would be up for that? I would rather your sister be with people who are friends of friends. The whole "stranger" thing worries me. I would hate to think her fantasy turned out to be a disaster.

Well said. Of course, all of this is foremost in my mind, which is why I think these ideas suck or at least need work.

by the way, stomach acid kills HIV. It isn't a very hardy virus. The problem is if you have a mouth ulcer or a cavity, then you could become infected.

Anyway, the saety issue is why I thought the far-fetched cruise ship idea might be best. Two guys on a cruise ship, where there is a security force, are far less likely to rape her. Where are they going to run?

I am leaning towards that one, but it too needs work.

OH and also, no I don't know any guys who will do it, or that I would trust to keep their mouths shut or who she is attracted to. I am sort of stuck in a one position in bed marriage with a husband whose idea of a night on the town is me, him and a bottle of vodka. I know this is why I am vicariously enjoying the possibility of her getting to act out her fantasy.

I am open to any ideas.

genuinegirly · 12-11-2005, 10:01 AM

Hmmm... well...
You could go about it as though you were hiring an employee. Put out an ad on Craigslist, schedule an interview, check their background, ask for their sexual history, require a blood test. It looks like a lot of hassle, but if it means a lot to set this up for her, take the time to do it right. Too bad she's too shy to set it up herself. It'd be much more rewarding, I would think, if she would ask a couple of guys that she has some sort of attachment to.

Sweetpea · 12-11-2005, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by passiongal

by the way, stomach acid kills HIV. It isn't a very hardy virus. The problem is if you have a mouth ulcer or a cavity, then you could become infected.
.

just to educate.

YOU CAN STILL GET HIV (AIDS virus) from ORAL SEX!!!

"Although the risk is many times smaller than anal or vaginal sex, HIV has been transmitted to receptive partners through fellatio, even in cases when insertive partners didn't ejaculate ("cum")."

to learn more:
http://www.avert.org/orlsx.htm#q1

As far as the topic... if she wants to have a threesome... there are plenty of adult 'play' sites that can hook partners up.... but i would suggest she do her own research on this and set this up herself, i don't think it's your place to 'help' her with this unless she has expressly asked you to or wants you to participate... other than that... it's her own personal business. But there are allot of STD safety issues and potential overpowering/rape issues i might be concerned about, so if she does decide to do this, i don't think she should be alone with the individuals who agree to meet her, it's just not safe.

Sweetpea

Sweetpea · 12-11-2005, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

Too bad she's too shy to set it up herself. It'd be much more rewarding, I would think, if she would ask a couple of guys that she has some sort of attachment to.

Good point: makes me wonder... If she's too shy to set this up herself... how on Earth is she going to have sex with them??
i think that sends warning bells to me... if she doesn't have the guts to set it up, then i don't think this is something that she really wants to do...

sweetpea

raeanna74 · 12-11-2005, 03:53 PM

I have always wanted to go to Hedonism in Jamaca. Go with her for her safety. But then you don't have to participate. Even if she does not get involved with any of the guys there she can enjoy baring it all and going nude in public. It might bring her out of her shell a little bit.

You could take her to a swinger club in your area. Just because you attend a club does not mean you need to participate. It's common for people to attend just to get an idea of what goes on there or for the voyeuristic experience. Then if she feels comfortable she could play with a couple of the guys there. Find out as much as you can about the club and she may feel more comfortable about it. The advantages of meeting the guys at a swinger club is that in all of the swinger groups we've learned about or been involved with the key rule is that "no, means no" and she would not have to fear being put into a situation where she was not comfortable and unable to say no. Granted it's a little more public but unless she gets to know a guy who is willing to share her she may not have any other SAFE options.

I personally this it's probably not as wise to set something up without her foreknowledge. In that case she may be more fearful when the situation presents itself. If she knows this was prearranged she may not be as shy or anxious.

Rubyee · 12-11-2005, 06:33 PM

I wouldn't do it. I know that if someone had set up something like that for me without telling me, I would be pissed- even if it was something I did want. Especially if you paid for it. There is a difference between having a threesome because all parties involved wanted it and a threesome because two of the three are paid.

You could be treading very thin ice by doing this.

maleficent · 12-12-2005, 04:36 AM

Raenna's got the best advice here for you... I agree with Rubyee.. I think it's a bad idea to spring this on someone else... It's one thing to talk about it - if she's going to go thru with it, it's got to be her idea.. not you pimping for her...

passiongal · 12-12-2005, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rubyee

Especially if you paid for it. There is a difference between having a threesome because all parties involved wanted it and a threesome because two of the three are paid.

I think I already covered this when I mentioned that in my opinion, all of these ideas suck.

But thanks

Hash_Browns · 12-16-2005, 02:10 PM

The other thing you could do is purchase her a membership to some of the sites available for hookingup. I forget the names as I was once interested, but didn't want to pay to get more info and use their services (e-mail, pictures....) You could get her a membership to a swingers site and then let her look around from the security of her own computer chair until she finds something she likes.

As for setting it up, yeah, everyone here who's said it's abad idea, I have to agree with. Unless you and your sister are close enough to have sex in the same room as the other, you preparing all of this might offend her afterwards because your face, name, essence and energy will be written all over it and it could ruin it for her.

Good luck, I'm happy that you feel comfortable wanting to do this, but you did ask for our advice and this is it.

I hope you figure out what it is will work best for you guys andthat you both are happy in the end.

Oh, and if you really want to, maybe get your hubby one of those subcriptions to a swingers site while you're at it

fyrehair · 12-16-2005, 07:28 PM

I'd suggest that she go to a swingers club if she's really serious about this. Don't surprise her with this. I know that is something like this was sprung on me, I'd run the other way. I'm pretty shy. I like to get to know the people that I'm going to play with, get comfortable with them. (And yes, I'm a swinger. I'm one half of a host couple for a local club.)

aps · 12-17-2005, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raeanna74

I have always wanted to go to Hedonism in Jamaca. Go with her for her safety. But then you don't have to participate. Even if she does not get involved with any of the guys there she can enjoy baring it all and going nude in public. It might bring her out of her shell a little bit.

You could take her to a swinger club in your area. Just because you attend a club does not mean you need to participate. It's common for people to attend just to get an idea of what goes on there or for the voyeuristic experience. Then if she feels comfortable she could play with a couple of the guys there. Find out as much as you can about the club and she may feel more comfortable about it. The advantages of meeting the guys at a swinger club is that in all of the swinger groups we've learned about or been involved with the key rule is that "no, means no" and she would not have to fear being put into a situation where she was not comfortable and unable to say no. Granted it's a little more public but unless she gets to know a guy who is willing to share her she may not have any other SAFE options.

I personally this it's probably not as wise to set something up without her foreknowledge. In that case she may be more fearful when the situation presents itself. If she knows this was prearranged she may not be as shy or anxious.

FABULOUS ideas! I can't believe it never occurred to me to recommend Hedonism and/or a swingers club. Passiongal, these are the exact kind of places that your sister could have the opportunity to have a threesome. I have a friend and she and her husband go to Hedonism because they like engaging in threesomes. There is always an opportunity there to get some action with more than one person. This same couple goes to swingers clubs (I went with them once but did nothing--that's not my thing--I just wanted to watch) and they meet people they hook up with later.

You should go with her and be the one who initiates talking to the guys she has told you she finds appealing.

12-11-2005, 05:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
passiongal Upright	Just once before she dies My sister-in-law wants a threesome with two men, just once before she dies. No strings attached. She is shy though, and I was trying to think of a plan to set this up. However, I don't have much of a diabolical mind. first I thought that I would get her two male strippers for her birthday and schedule them to show up when she is home alone, but I think if I offer them "extra" for extra service, they would think it's a sting or something, or they just might not be interested. Then I thought that instead, I could hire two male (um gigalos or whatever they call them these days) to pose as strippers and send them over. Then I found out that she is going on a cruise in April or May and I thought that I could put an ad on a singles website, telling them what is going on and offering to pay half the price of a cruise ship ticket for them to go on the same cruise and put the make on her. She is shy, but horny and I admit that I am getting a bit of a vicarious thrill just imagining it. Frankly, I think all of these plans suck. I am in the position of trying to set her up with two men for a threesome without her knowing it... at least not until afterwards Anyway, if you were in my shoes, how would you go about it?

12-11-2005, 05:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Make sure that it's something that she really wants to do... it's one thing to talk about it and fantasize about it... but to actually go thru wiht it is completely different... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

12-11-2005, 10:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Hmmm... well... You could go about it as though you were hiring an employee. Put out an ad on Craigslist, schedule an interview, check their background, ask for their sexual history, require a blood test. It looks like a lot of hassle, but if it means a lot to set this up for her, take the time to do it right. Too bad she's too shy to set it up herself. It'd be much more rewarding, I would think, if she would ask a couple of guys that she has some sort of attachment to. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

12-11-2005, 03:53 PM	#9 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I have always wanted to go to Hedonism in Jamaca. Go with her for her safety. But then you don't have to participate. Even if she does not get involved with any of the guys there she can enjoy baring it all and going nude in public. It might bring her out of her shell a little bit. You could take her to a swinger club in your area. Just because you attend a club does not mean you need to participate. It's common for people to attend just to get an idea of what goes on there or for the voyeuristic experience. Then if she feels comfortable she could play with a couple of the guys there. Find out as much as you can about the club and she may feel more comfortable about it. The advantages of meeting the guys at a swinger club is that in all of the swinger groups we've learned about or been involved with the key rule is that "no, means no" and she would not have to fear being put into a situation where she was not comfortable and unable to say no. Granted it's a little more public but unless she gets to know a guy who is willing to share her she may not have any other SAFE options. I personally this it's probably not as wise to set something up without her foreknowledge. In that case she may be more fearful when the situation presents itself. If she knows this was prearranged she may not be as shy or anxious. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

12-11-2005, 06:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
Rubyee I'm baaaaack!	I wouldn't do it. I know that if someone had set up something like that for me without telling me, I would be pissed- even if it was something I did want. Especially if you paid for it. There is a difference between having a threesome because all parties involved wanted it and a threesome because two of the three are paid. You could be treading very thin ice by doing this. __________________ You don't know from fun.

12-12-2005, 04:36 AM	#11 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Raenna's got the best advice here for you... I agree with Rubyee.. I think it's a bad idea to spring this on someone else... It's one thing to talk about it - if she's going to go thru with it, it's got to be her idea.. not you pimping for her... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

12-16-2005, 02:10 PM	#13 (permalink)
Hash_Browns Psycho Location: Right behind you...BOO!	The other thing you could do is purchase her a membership to some of the sites available for hookingup. I forget the names as I was once interested, but didn't want to pay to get more info and use their services (e-mail, pictures....) You could get her a membership to a swingers site and then let her look around from the security of her own computer chair until she finds something she likes. As for setting it up, yeah, everyone here who's said it's abad idea, I have to agree with. Unless you and your sister are close enough to have sex in the same room as the other, you preparing all of this might offend her afterwards because your face, name, essence and energy will be written all over it and it could ruin it for her. Good luck, I'm happy that you feel comfortable wanting to do this, but you did ask for our advice and this is it. I hope you figure out what it is will work best for you guys andthat you both are happy in the end. Oh, and if you really want to, maybe get your hubby one of those subcriptions to a swingers site while you're at it __________________ Smile It makes people wonder what you're up too!

12-16-2005, 07:28 PM	#14 (permalink)
fyrehair Upright Location: Western NY	I'd suggest that she go to a swingers club if she's really serious about this. Don't surprise her with this. I know that is something like this was sprung on me, I'd run the other way. I'm pretty shy. I like to get to know the people that I'm going to play with, get comfortable with them. (And yes, I'm a swinger. I'm one half of a host couple for a local club.) __________________ I do not envy you the headache that you will have in the morning. Until then, sleep well and dream of large women.