Is He Bored With Me? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Elusive Dreamer · 02-17-2005, 08:14 PM

My boyfriend and I were talking online (yeah i know, we're dorks) and he says this to me, out of no where:
"so are you going to spring any suprises on me the next time we're in bed?"

what does this mean?
do you think he's bored of me?

our sex is NOT routine or boring.
i never gave it a thought that he felt any differently... untill he said this.

i don't know what to think?

la petite moi · 02-17-2005, 08:19 PM

Uhm, obviously you need to have more communication with your boyfriend, for one. How long have you been dating?!

For two, he probably doesn't mean anything by it- sounds like you are just being overly sensitive. Maybe he was tipped off my your body language that you might 'spring a surprise on him." If you're truly worried, talk to HIM not the TFP.

Elusive Dreamer · 02-17-2005, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi

If you're truly worried, talk to HIM not the TFP.

um. okay?
sounds like i hit a nerve or something?

la petite moi · 02-17-2005, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elusive Dreamer

um. okay?
sounds like i hit a nerve or something?

Nope. Just think that communication is the best thing in a relationship. People always forget about it.

lazygirl · 02-17-2005, 08:48 PM

I f my so said something like that chatting online I'd think he was justing being playful. Then I'd spring a surprise on him in bed

Squishor · 02-17-2005, 09:52 PM

Sounds to me like he might be trying to hint that he'd like to explore a little more, that's all. It doesn't have to mean anything negative about you. I'll bet there's something he wants to try and he's working up the nerve to ask. Why don't you help him out and see if you can gently get him to tell you? Maybe you could take the pressure off by incorperating it into some sort of game, like a truth or dare, or "tell your fantasy" sort of thing. It might be fun!

*Nikki* · 02-18-2005, 09:54 AM

There is nothing wrong with "talking to the TFP" about this issue.

We are here to listen and give advice, I think everyone needs to keep that in mind when they reply to a post.

Elusive Dreamer · 02-18-2005, 10:13 AM

aw, thanks a lot nikki.
i was starting to feel stupid when really, all i wanted was a little input.
i've got the situation under control, i just wanted some feedback that's all!
thank you

little_tippler · 02-18-2005, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elusive Dreamer

My boyfriend and I were talking online (yeah i know, we're dorks) and he says this to me, out of no where:
"so are you going to spring any suprises on me the next time we're in bed?"

what does this mean?
do you think he's bored of me?

our sex is NOT routine or boring.
i never gave it a thought that he felt any differently... untill he said this.

i don't know what to think?

hmmm...weird. sounds like perhaps even if YOU think your sex life is interesting, he wants it to be...spicier. Maybe he feels you've fallen into a routine? Or maybe he was just playing and felt like saying that to get you feeling kinky?

either way I'd talk to him too. Don't be pushy though...or he might say you're being paranoid.

pinkie · 02-18-2005, 12:22 PM

Perhaps he wants to take it up the pooper?

la petite moi · 02-18-2005, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Nikki*

There is nothing wrong with "talking to the TFP" about this issue.

We are here to listen and give advice, I think everyone needs to keep that in mind when they reply to a post.

Nikki, I said that not out of malice, but because no one on the TFP knows what her boyfriend is thinking. The advice we give could be completely opposite of what he means by that. So, in that way, she should be talking to her boyfriend. It's the main reason why there are breakups and misunderstandings- lack of communication.

Best way to know what he wants is to talk to HIM about it.

ironmaiden7o7 · 02-18-2005, 03:24 PM

I wouldn't lose sleep over what your boyfriend said, it's playful and it's something that men usually say, that doesn't mean he's bored with you, if anything, I would like to think that he likes to try new and different things, and this doesn't necessariy mean that you are not satisfying him. If it's bothering you, just ask him about it, but if I were you, I wouldn't think too much of it. Good luck with the situation.

sexymama · 02-18-2005, 04:19 PM

If it is not boring, as you say, he may enjoy the surprises you have sprung on him in the past, and is looking forward to more. I would celebrate that he can ask, rather than worry. And definitely surprise him!

Then, the next time you are chatting, ask him if he has a surprise in store for you! I think this could be a lot of fun!

shesus · 02-18-2005, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elusive Dreamer

our sex is NOT routine or boring.

If this is true, then maybe he was just curious as to what to expect next. He might have just wanted a preview, so to say. I agree that maybe you took it too personally. I do that all the time. It is difficult to know when you are chatting on line because there is no voice inflection or facial expressions to help you out.

I would probably ask him what he had in mind and have fun.

genuinegirly · 02-18-2005, 04:27 PM

Most likely he was making that comment in anticipation and excitement for the next time you're together: the- "Hey, that was great, what's coming next?" -mentality. I wouldn't take it as anything negative if I were you.

He also might have wanted to spice up an otherwise boring day, or get you excited about the next time as well.

If it's still bothering you by the time you're together, be sure to bring it up. Mention how it made you wonder and insecure. Ask him if he feels anything is lacking - he'll let you know.

*Nikki* · 02-18-2005, 04:29 PM

I forgot to mention that my fiance says this to me all the time and we have a VERY healthy sex life. He just really enjoys when I take control and bring something new into the mix.

Men like stuff like that....I would surprise him and REALLY mix it up in bed!

Sweetpea · 02-19-2005, 02:55 PM

Probably just a hint to try something new. Brainstorm some ideas. Try not to worry too much . . . that has happened to me too . . . just be creative and have fun

Sweetpea

KinkyKiwi · 02-19-2005, 05:19 PM

did pinkie really say that? *blink blink*

02-17-2005, 08:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Elusive Dreamer Upright Location: chicago	Is He Bored With Me? My boyfriend and I were talking online (yeah i know, we're dorks) and he says this to me, out of no where: "so are you going to spring any suprises on me the next time we're in bed?" what does this mean? do you think he's bored of me? our sex is NOT routine or boring. i never gave it a thought that he felt any differently... untill he said this. i don't know what to think?

02-17-2005, 08:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Uhm, obviously you need to have more communication with your boyfriend, for one. How long have you been dating?! For two, he probably doesn't mean anything by it- sounds like you are just being overly sensitive. Maybe he was tipped off my your body language that you might 'spring a surprise on him." If you're truly worried, talk to HIM not the TFP. Last edited by la petite moi; 02-17-2005 at 08:21 PM..

02-18-2005, 12:22 PM	#10 (permalink)
pinkie Helplessly hoping Location: Above the stars	Strap one on? Perhaps he wants to take it up the pooper?

02-18-2005, 04:19 PM	#13 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	If it is not boring, as you say, he may enjoy the surprises you have sprung on him in the past, and is looking forward to more. I would celebrate that he can ask, rather than worry. And definitely surprise him! Then, the next time you are chatting, ask him if he has a surprise in store for you! I think this could be a lot of fun! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

02-18-2005, 04:27 PM	#15 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Most likely he was making that comment in anticipation and excitement for the next time you're together: the- "Hey, that was great, what's coming next?" -mentality. I wouldn't take it as anything negative if I were you. He also might have wanted to spice up an otherwise boring day, or get you excited about the next time as well. If it's still bothering you by the time you're together, be sure to bring it up. Mention how it made you wonder and insecure. Ask him if he feels anything is lacking - he'll let you know. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

02-17-2005, 08:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
lazygirl Upright Location: northern cal	I f my so said something like that chatting online I'd think he was justing being playful. Then I'd spring a surprise on him in bed

02-17-2005, 09:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
Squishor Frontal Lobe Location: California	Sounds to me like he might be trying to hint that he'd like to explore a little more, that's all. It doesn't have to mean anything negative about you. I'll bet there's something he wants to try and he's working up the nerve to ask. Why don't you help him out and see if you can gently get him to tell you? Maybe you could take the pressure off by incorperating it into some sort of game, like a truth or dare, or "tell your fantasy" sort of thing. It might be fun!

02-18-2005, 09:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	There is nothing wrong with "talking to the TFP" about this issue. We are here to listen and give advice, I think everyone needs to keep that in mind when they reply to a post.

02-18-2005, 10:13 AM	#8 (permalink)
Elusive Dreamer Upright Location: chicago	aw, thanks a lot nikki. i was starting to feel stupid when really, all i wanted was a little input. i've got the situation under control, i just wanted some feedback that's all! thank you

02-18-2005, 03:24 PM	#12 (permalink)
ironmaiden7o7 Insane Location: NYC	I wouldn't lose sleep over what your boyfriend said, it's playful and it's something that men usually say, that doesn't mean he's bored with you, if anything, I would like to think that he likes to try new and different things, and this doesn't necessariy mean that you are not satisfying him. If it's bothering you, just ask him about it, but if I were you, I wouldn't think too much of it. Good luck with the situation.

02-18-2005, 04:29 PM	#16 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	I forgot to mention that my fiance says this to me all the time and we have a VERY healthy sex life. He just really enjoys when I take control and bring something new into the mix. Men like stuff like that....I would surprise him and REALLY mix it up in bed!

02-19-2005, 02:55 PM	#17 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	Probably just a hint to try something new. Brainstorm some ideas. Try not to worry too much . . . that has happened to me too . . . just be creative and have fun Sweetpea Last edited by sweetpea; 02-19-2005 at 03:03 PM..

02-19-2005, 05:19 PM	#18 (permalink)
KinkyKiwi "Without the fuzz" Location: ..too close for comfort..	did pinkie really say that? blink blink __________________ Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.