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-   -   I can't have a flippin' orgasm... (https://thetfp.com/tfp/ladies-lounge/69326-i-cant-have-flippin-orgasm.html)

MrsRight41401 09-16-2004 12:52 AM

I can't have a flippin' orgasm...
 
At least not during sex. I don't know why! I've been with other men then my husband, but the only way I've ever had an orgasm has been through manual stimulation and today with my new vibe.

The hubby won't go down on me, he's too freaked out by the idea. He was raised in a prudish home so I"m not surprised. I'm his first lover so...

Any ideas?

Rachel

awanderingsoul 09-16-2004 03:08 AM

Have you tried masturbating in front of him? How about letting him use the vibe on you? Sometimes just communicating to him what does it for you can be a big help.

Nancy 09-16-2004 03:39 AM

I higly recommend "How to Have an Orgasm... As Often As You Want" by Rachel Swift :)

Redgirl 09-16-2004 08:21 AM

Oh, ouch! He won't go down? Have you tried kicking his ass and calling him names? Hmm... OK. Well then maybe he's the one that should be reading up on ways to please you. Does he try hard otherwise to help you out, or just do his thing and let you take care of yourself? I would say to pull it off will require his very willing participation.

MrsRight41401 09-16-2004 08:31 AM

Just got the vibe yesterday and he has used it on me. He lets me masturbate in front of him, he doesn't get involved cuz he knows he can't do it right. Will look up that book Nancy - thanks so much!

I almost feel like he doesn't think its his problem. And yes, I have tried the threats to get some oral sex. LOL

Rachel

Redlemon 09-16-2004 08:34 AM

Despite the fact that I offer good advice, I can still forget I have a Y chromosome.

Redlemon 09-16-2004 08:37 AM

Ack! What am I doing in here?

Sugar&Spice 09-16-2004 01:34 PM

Have you tried stimulating your clit during sex with your husband? For me it just adds extra sensation, makes me orgasm faster and sometimes they are very intense.

MrsRight41401 09-16-2004 03:03 PM

How do you do that with the close proximity of the bodies?

Rachel

*Nikki* 09-16-2004 03:33 PM

Damn I don't think I could be married to someone who wouldn't give some oral loving. I mean that is what makes my world go around.

Not being able to orgasm from penetration alone is not a big deal or uncommon. I am the same way. I mean penetration always feels good but it is never enough to get me there. He always manages to take care of me some other way though. Can you not instruct your husband on the correct way in which to stimulate you manualy?

MrsRight41401 09-16-2004 03:38 PM

Yeah - that's what we're working on now. We just got a vibrator for me and it has really been helping. It's been 2 days now and the sex has been completely different.

Rachel

la petite moi 09-18-2004 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsRight41401
How do you do that with the close proximity of the bodies?

Rachel

Doggy style, of course!!! :thumbsup:

Nancy 09-18-2004 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsRight41401
Just got the vibe yesterday and he has used it on me. He lets me masturbate in front of him, he doesn't get involved cuz he knows he can't do it right. Will look up that book Nancy - thanks so much!

I almost feel like he doesn't think its his problem. And yes, I have tried the threats to get some oral sex. LOL

Rachel

not his problem? I seriously hope he doesn't really mean that!

anyway have him practice on you. Pleasing a woman with fingers only can be very difficult so you've got to help him and show him what to do. He should get the hand of it if he'd just practice :)

Nancy 09-18-2004 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi
Doggy style, of course!!! :thumbsup:

This position works great for me as well! But that doesn't necessarily mean that it'll work wonders for you. Give it a try and if there's no firework then try another position! :)

xxSquirtxx 09-23-2004 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi
Doggy style, of course!!! :thumbsup:

Best. Position. Ever! :thumbsup:

pinkie 09-24-2004 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsRight41401
The hubby won't go down on me, he's too freaked out by the idea. He was raised in a prudish home so I"m not surprised. I'm his first lover so...
Rachel

Whoah...... That would not fly with me. Hopefully he'll grow out of that one. :confused:

RainbowBright 09-26-2004 07:58 AM

Doggy style is great for stimulating yourself. Also if you get on top and face away from him you haver really great access to your clit. Just be carefull not to bend it too far the wrong way.

There is only one position that I can get off in without clitoral stimulation. That's with him sitting up and me on top facing him, and that's because my clit is getting lots of stimulation from his body.

Pigtails 09-26-2004 10:03 AM

Wow I was just about to ask this same question. I finally told my bf that I can't orgasm through just penatration. I can only climax when I masterbate, which is just by rubbing my clitoris. I thought there just might be something wrong with me! I think I will check out that book as well!

fallenangel 09-26-2004 01:38 PM

various sexual positions allow for prime clit stimulation. If i'm on top, sorta kneeling, but leaning forward so my chest is against his, i'm golden. It's almost disgusting how quickly i can get off if i let myself go in that one spot. *Shrugs* Everyone has their preferences to what provides the best feeling, just mix it up a bit until you find what works for you! :)

hunnychile 09-27-2004 06:13 PM

It's good to know that the G-Spot is deeper in our vaginas, about 3 to 4 inches inside and located on the top wall of our vaginas. This is The Spot, not just our clitoris as so many mistakenly think. The clit loves the attention because that helps us with the amrita - for lubrication. There are HUGE differences from clit orgasms and vaginal G-Spot orgasms. Yes, the clit gets all the glory, but in reality the G Spot inside will provide the (multiple) orgasms that make you feel like your've found Nirvana & you will never forget those climaxes. For me, being on top & moving up a few inches at the right angle will bring me to climax every single time. I do love doggie style a lot, but since I have a tilted uterus, it doesn't make me acheive the same intense climax. You might need to change the angle & penetration depth just a bit. The fun is finding that deeper spot. I can cum when I masterbate, but it's never those eye lid fluttering -Oh My God!!!-Mind Blowing experiences the other is from a good stiff cock or well trained girlfriend with a big toy.

Have fun, relax....you're due. He can do it. Once is all it takes to know the difference. Enjoy your lover.

sexymama 09-29-2004 04:16 PM

I prefer stimulation of my cervix. Whe he tickles my cervix, I nearly jump out of my skin with pleasure. And the orgasms are amazing -- like riding a rollercoaster, only every turn is better and bigger!

As for the oral sex. Do you give it? Then you deserve to receive it. He may be afraid of the taste or the fluids. After fingering yourself, lovingly rub your finger on his lips. If he likes that, encourage him to suck on them. Pretty soon (we hope!) he'll get over his fear.

Bravo to you for maturbating in front of him. I was 41 before I'd do that with anyone. The results are amazing. Of course, part of it is having the right lover.

Nancy 09-29-2004 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsRight41401
At least not during sex. I don't know why!

I'ts because of a mental blocking. The book will tell you all about it and how to deal with it :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pigtails
Wow I was just about to ask this same question. I finally told my bf that I can't orgasm through just penatration. I can only climax when I masterbate, which is just by rubbing my clitoris. I thought there just might be something wrong with me! I think I will check out that book as well!

please do! There's nothing wrong with your body it's all in your mind. The part about the mental blocking will tell you all about that and how to handle it :)

la petite moi 09-30-2004 08:29 AM

Dude, I can't orgasm from penetration either. He'll have to give me oral sex, get me off with his hand, or I'll masturbate myself before he penetrates me. Sometimes I get this feeling like I have to go to the bathroom--sometimes I actually do have to go, sometimes I don't--and he says it's because I might be getting close to an internal orgasm. Is this how an internal orgasm feels like? What are the telltale signs you're about to have one from penetration?

RomancehasDied 09-30-2004 05:29 PM

I never used to be able to orgasm either. I found, and I'm sure you've heard it before, if I just concentrate on what he's doing and how it feels, I can have many mind blowing orgasms in one sitting for lack of a better term. My best advice is to not think about it. Focusing on it makes it not happen. The guy I am with now can cause unbelieveable orgasms, but also has the habit of killing them before they happen when he asks if I am going to cum before I acutally have. As soon as I focus on whether I am close or not, it's not going to happen, even if I am right there.

fallenangel 09-30-2004 05:37 PM

the peeing sensation is natural, i mean if you're really nervous about like peeing the bed or something silly, then try getting yourself off in the bathtub, or put a towel under you, then that might ease any worry you'll have about making any sort of mess?

A lot of women's mental blocks are caused because they're afraid of someone watching them, or just of really letting go. I had a huge block for the longest time because i'm a very vocal person, but for the first year that i was sexually active, we could only ever get our groove on when it was in the wee hours of the night and everyone was sleeping and we'd snuck over to the other's place. *shrugs* We were too busy worrying about being caught than enjoying ourselves. Once we had some time to ourselves, then wahoo, it was great! :)

Best of luck again! :)


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