Need Advice Please - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sammalev · 09-07-2010, 11:26 PM

Alrighty, my husband and I discussed having a threesome in passing a while back and since then have gotten more serious about it. We approached our ideal girl (A friend of ours) and she says she would love to BUT she is worried about my mother finding out (She is friends with my mother and her fiance). We (my husband the girl and I) had a few drinks last weekend and started to move on things. She stopped us saying she couldn't (personal reason AND fear of my Mother..) We tried to reassure her a bit and she gave us this look (Unmistakable "I want to jump you" look) and declined due to her other reason. Now she is Bi and my husband thinks I should try to entice her on my own so that she feels less ganged up on. The problem is this is my first real encounter and I am afraid of rejection and have NO idea how to start that...

Any ideas and advice are very welcome!!

hunnychile · 09-12-2010, 12:14 PM

It sounds like it's not the best threesome to try.

Especially if some of you have "Mother Issues".

Try a different approach. Or bag it.

ZombieSquirrel · 09-13-2010, 10:29 AM

You don't want to force anything. The experience should be positive for all involved.

As with any sexual relationship, it's always a risk getting involved with friends. Just make sure you are as transparent as possible with your intentions and the parameters of the relationship. It may make her more comfortable.

biggirls · 09-27-2010, 07:16 PM

hmm, i agreed with u .

tasineah · 10-25-2010, 02:07 AM

with any such arrangement this should have all been communicated thoroughly and agreed upon and in my way, a contract written out and all parties signatures on it so no false sense of securities would later develop into crushing blows of guilt and depression and blaming accusations.

AND, the fact that you were drinking when you approached her was naughty. VERY naughty. You were using alcohol yourself as a crutch. You need to be in control so you can help guide her in a potentially scary arrangement. You have a mature relationship with your husband already established. She is walking into the middle of it. You have a responsibility to tend to her, not be a tipsy silly girl who is taking her girlfriend for a joy ride.

If you are serious about her, sit down and first talk to your hubbie about what your expectations are, what your needs and wants are, what you wont do and what your limits are within the threesome and what happens after the threesome is over. Then and only then should you approach her and explain what you carefully thought out to her. And ask her to do the same, Then compare the lists. Then do a negotiation. The final draft is your contract.

Sound cold? Its not. Its assurance to her that you think enough about her to want a secure plan.

09-07-2010, 11:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
Sammalev Upright Location: Missouri	Need Advice Please Alrighty, my husband and I discussed having a threesome in passing a while back and since then have gotten more serious about it. We approached our ideal girl (A friend of ours) and she says she would love to BUT she is worried about my mother finding out (She is friends with my mother and her fiance). We (my husband the girl and I) had a few drinks last weekend and started to move on things. She stopped us saying she couldn't (personal reason AND fear of my Mother..) We tried to reassure her a bit and she gave us this look (Unmistakable "I want to jump you" look) and declined due to her other reason. Now she is Bi and my husband thinks I should try to entice her on my own so that she feels less ganged up on. The problem is this is my first real encounter and I am afraid of rejection and have NO idea how to start that... Any ideas and advice are very welcome!!

09-12-2010, 12:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	It sounds like it's not the best threesome to try. Especially if some of you have "Mother Issues". Try a different approach. Or bag it. __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

09-27-2010, 07:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
biggirls Banned	hmm, i agreed with u .

10-25-2010, 02:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
tasineah Crazy Location: NE region of the united states	with any such arrangement this should have all been communicated thoroughly and agreed upon and in my way, a contract written out and all parties signatures on it so no false sense of securities would later develop into crushing blows of guilt and depression and blaming accusations. AND, the fact that you were drinking when you approached her was naughty. VERY naughty. You were using alcohol yourself as a crutch. You need to be in control so you can help guide her in a potentially scary arrangement. You have a mature relationship with your husband already established. She is walking into the middle of it. You have a responsibility to tend to her, not be a tipsy silly girl who is taking her girlfriend for a joy ride. If you are serious about her, sit down and first talk to your hubbie about what your expectations are, what your needs and wants are, what you wont do and what your limits are within the threesome and what happens after the threesome is over. Then and only then should you approach her and explain what you carefully thought out to her. And ask her to do the same, Then compare the lists. Then do a negotiation. The final draft is your contract. Sound cold? Its not. Its assurance to her that you think enough about her to want a secure plan.