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with any such arrangement this should have all been communicated thoroughly and agreed upon and in my way, a contract written out and all parties signatures on it so no false sense of securities would later develop into crushing blows of guilt and depression and blaming accusations.
AND, the fact that you were drinking when you approached her was naughty. VERY naughty. You were using alcohol yourself as a crutch. You need to be in control so you can help guide her in a potentially scary arrangement. You have a mature relationship with your husband already established. She is walking into the middle of it. You have a responsibility to tend to her, not be a tipsy silly girl who is taking her girlfriend for a joy ride.
If you are serious about her, sit down and first talk to your hubbie about what your expectations are, what your needs and wants are, what you wont do and what your limits are within the threesome and what happens after the threesome is over. Then and only then should you approach her and explain what you carefully thought out to her. And ask her to do the same, Then compare the lists. Then do a negotiation. The final draft is your contract.
Sound cold? Its not. Its assurance to her that you think enough about her to want a secure plan.
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