WORD. I couldn't ever be awake during something like that.

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH, that's so hilarious.

um, i don't know what everybody's talking about but I only started laughing with your last sentence, and then only reservedly

the rest was quite disturbing, and I was in an upright fetal position the whole time

A+ for the information

After reading that I will never get mine done. I laughed so hard they both popped out hit the floor and my wife smashed them!
Bless you for the funniest writing I've ever read.!

LOL great post man... Shit while reading that I was stuck between laughing my ass off and cringing into the fetal position from sympathy pains!!

One of the funnier things i've read in a long time, A+ for courage sir~

Very funny. Of course I will never let them do that to me so I can laugh abt it. Thanks for validating my decision.

Hilarious...just hilarious...Had me laughing for about 2minutes straight. Actually it was so funny I think if I said it had me in Guffaws would be a more accurate description. Funny as hell.

Crazy shit dude. I am terrified, officially.

My wifey has been telling me to consider going under the knife, and I almost agreed to it......then I thought "better check with TF Project first". Whew; good idea. I knew that there would be some kind of vasectomy horror story written in a comedic style that would convince me that this isn't an option.....Thanks so much:=

Ow, just owwwww

That was painfully funny man, aces

Again you have me in stiches

Did this not prep you for shaving your own.

How did I miss this post.

You have large ones for getting it done man that could explain the pain.
have a friend who say he can really feel it in the cold but he did not get to rep the benefit of being free from contraceptives for two months.

Holy hell.

We are having our 3rd kid at the moment (just found out a few weeks ago) and we decided one of us is getting clipped. After reading this, I think they can clip her while shes already drugged and having the baby :-P (she knows I love her!).

You did a good job on making the story fun, but damn, I don't think I want to be like that for a month :(.

Damn...i have a host of mental images i thought i never needed, but i'm still laughing my ass off...

I thought this line was particularly descriptive, "It took me about a week before I stopped trying to walk AROUND my ice-covered crotch." It really painted the picture for me. Thanks for sharing.

At this time, I think I need to send a special shout out to the women who are reading this. Before you send me the “That’s nothing compared to what a woman goes through during birth / hysterectomy / gang-bang” email, let me just tell you to please shut your pie-holes. Women are tougher than men and we all know it. I’m sure if you ladies had scrotums, you’d pound them with bricks and wouldn’t even flinch. I don’t want to hear about it.

That is the funniest thing I have ever read:)

goddamn that's funny, clavus... fantastic story.

welcome to the club

dude, my experience left me with a nutsack the size of a grapefruit and the color of a bruise (internal bleeding) for a MONTH. Try walking around for a month with a grapefruit where your balls used to be.


At least the surgery accomplished its goal.

You're a great story teller. You should do stand-up!

My exact reaction. I'm a woman and that even made ME grit my teeth at some parts. But very informative, nonetheless, and of course...hilarious!:lol::lol::lol:

You mean mine will SHRINK if I get cut?!?!

j/k - My own experince was totally anti-climactic compared to all of these - I was awake, no real pain, and only some tenderness for a few days. I took no pain medication (apart from a preemptory Advil as soon as I got home) at all...

I don't know how I missed this when it was first done. Very well done Clavus. You have all the hallmarks of the good story teller. Just a damn shame you had to get cut to get the material.

Amusing yet informative. The post with everything.

thanx for the rather graphic story...even tho the parts about sitting on the floor trying to tell ur kids to be nice lol...i will have to be undergoing that myself...tho i did have kidney stones i would hope they would be worse then this surgery is :hmm:

Can we get a NSFW sticker here, I almost got in trouble for laughing so loud reading this at work! Really hard to explain when you got tears running down your face your laughing so hard.

I swear I posted already...but hmm...oh well.

Clavus, you are a comical god! A genius with words. Don't let any one tell you otherwise.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Clavus is funny.


Mr Mephisto

PS - Why? Why why why why on God's beautiful Earth, WHY?!!

Guess I am next.....damn, sounds like a wonderful time....Wife is gonna pay big time for this one.

That may be one of the funniest, yet poinant things I have ever read!!

LOL! That was beautiful Clavus. Brought tears of laughter to my eyes.

Clavus, I hope you don't mind if I start spreading this around the internet. ;)

haha, quality read... cheers Clavus

Another awesome story Clavus. :lol: I'm dying in my chair here, avoiding the puzzling looks of my coworkers.

Oh man, gold star for comedy!

I salute you.

haha this was a painful yet... funny post.

Another great story from Clavus.
I really do enjoy your antics man.

Oh man that was great, you had me laughing so hard!

That brings up memories big memories of when i had a testicular torsion (my left nut got completely twisted around citting off the circulation to my testical). I had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery. It sounded like a very similar experieneces except for that fact that i ran into the hospital screaming as i had dry heaves from the pain of the feeling that my left ball was being crushed with a nutcracker....man that is probably the most horrible experience of my life. :eek:

My vasectomy was for free. I signed up for a medical study and was chosen to participate. My group received a placebo not valium, also saline salution, nothing to numb the sack. They played soft music. Needles to say my group didn't do well. Three charges of assult came about when the doctors were punched byshaved naked men....

It’s a good thing you've already got a kid, I’d hate to see this sense of humour not be passed down to future generations. Oh, and have you ever watched a scary movie, where someone gets stabbed in the eye, and you wince and cover your eye for no reason? I was shielding my balls with one hand and squeezing my knees together halfway through the post...

Y'know it seems I've read this 2-3 times now, and it's just as funny each time. You're a brilliant writer Clavus, and your choice of words is exquisite. Fantastic work my friend!

Very Funny, clavus. But i dont think im getting a vasectomy anymore.