Menoman

Pellet gun is a good idea if you make a clean kill on the dumb thing.

If you don't yer in big trouble with the big bad animal contol peoples.

headshot, or right behind its front legs will lay him down within 10 or so feet of where you shot him. Use a pointed tip pellet, .20 cal I would suggest, a .17 should rock his world too I suspect.



Anti-freeze in little trays hidden on your porch, and in other areas no one will see them. It won't always kill the cat, but he'll be ridiculously sick for a few days, and normally they are brain damaged/retarded after you do this, so chances are he'd be outta yer hair and trying to fuck a doorknob or something.


you could also get a good dog, not a princy lil faggot but something like a flathaired retriever, shepard, elkhound, something with at least some primal instinct for the hunt/kill.

That would surely deter 90% of cats.

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flat5

Use a force field or use the motion detector (good idea!) to detonate a low yield nuclear device.

Oh...and keep the young one away from the bomb.

Astrocloud

I don't know why this is a problem. Cat's don't like water for a reason. Squirt it with a super soaker. If it's a very cool cat he will play with the water -otherwise he will run away... Your magic boom stick is more powerful than his.

For a VERY bad cat who sprays your junk - put a little white vinegar in with the water. He won't like the smell or the taste and will most likely feel humiliated by the whole experience.

canuckguy

I like the idea of spraying it with the hose, but this cat is deathly afraid of me (and it rightfully should be) so if I am outside the cat is gone, start to open the door...all you see is furrry ass hauling it. Maybe a dummy dressed like me would work.

cyrnel

brian, try the ready-made sensor/sprayers if your setting allows it. There's nothing quite like "furry ass hauling it" as motivated by an involuntary enema. I've seen them for $40-50 in garden stores. They don't have to spray where they sense, so perhaps direct it to the side away from the door, or down. Just the sound of *click*SPRAY* is enough.

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Astrocloud

Once my neighborhood was infested with stray cats. Many of them were un-neutered mangy ass tom cats who wanted nothing more than to take a piece out of my neutered cat. There is always the risk that they'll spread feline leukemia to your pet -so these cats were a disgusting menace.

I had the benefit of being in school -thus home all day. You may not have this ability. Also you don't seem to have the ability to sneak up on it. I suggest taking an alternate door and coming up from behind.

One day I found a stray trying to beat up my cat -who was sleeping peacefully. The stray was so fixated on jumping my cat that he didn't see that I was right behind it. I grabbed it by the back of the neck. I then unhooked it's claws from my pet -who seemed in shock from waking up. This was not easy -as the stray was clawing at my arms. I just grabbed the tuft of fur behind his neck harder and eventually it was unhooked from my cat. It waving it's claws frantically and tried to flop out of my grasp. I just pinched it harder and held it away from my body.

I then took it up the alley and dropped it in a metal trash dumpster. It must have gotten out because weeks later I saw it running away from my cat. I guess my point is that if you teach this cat a lesson-he will eventually leave you alone. What I REALLY should have done was take the cat to animal control and had it neutered. However when you are dealing with a clawing spitting animal -you pretty much want to get rid of it asap.

Try a havahart trap with some cat toy or something that smells like your cat. (Remember curiosity and cats -right?) Then when you do have this animal -check if he's neutered. If not -have him denutted and release him back into the wild. Problem solved... Otherwise -torture the beast a little in the area that he is not supposed to go in. Use the vinegar/water treatment.

And remember all of these treatments are better off than if animal control got involved. If you catch the animal and bring him there -chances are that his owner will never come get him.

texxasco

Well you don't have to actually SHOOT the cat to get the same results. I keep a pump BB rifle on my patio just for that reason. I have had cat after cat scratch my paint on my truck to the point where I am sick of it. Yes I called animal control, and they are useless. Whenever I see a cat in my yard, I SHOOT AT IT, but purposely missing it. The cat usually jumps three or four feet in the air, then hauls ass out of my yard. I rarely see the same cat twice these days. Usually once does the trick. There's nothing cruel about that. What's cruel is letting an animal roam the streets IMO.

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canuckguy

To further complicate my emotions, the old lady with the cat, one of her kids or grandchildren lives with her. And today the guy who lives with her, he is mentally disabled shoveled (sp?) Everyone’s sidewalk and our walk ways. Which was nice of him, but not asked for.

I just recently moved to the neighbourhood and my other neighbour told me the guy does it every time it snows. Now my feelings of inflicting torture in a serial killer kinda way on the cat have vanished. It came to our patio door twice that I saw.....oh the evil thoughts I had...before finding out aboot the shoveling.

Now I think I'll just try and scare it away.....nicely........ Pussy I am.

hunnychile

Yeah, a huge rottweiller or pit bull

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flat5

What would Attacus Finch do?

viejo gringo

No matter how much bar-B-Q sauce you use, they still taste terrible..

biznatch

What would Jesus do?

Rodney

Turn the cat into wine, drink the wine, and piss all around the garden.

vermin

Mix some laxative in with some milk and leave a bowl out for "evil kitty". It may not solve your problem, the the mental image of "evil kitty" spraying liquid excrement all over the inside of your un-helpful neighbor's house might make memories of screen climbing easier to live with.

Another idea is lengths of razor wire affixed vertically to the outside of the screen and a light dusting of salt on the porch.

Courage.

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Lilly

spray bottle of ammonia. Squirt it right in the face every time you see it.

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canuckguy

it came to my front porch three times this morning to torment my little kitty. hissing, scratching from both sides of the glass. I am going to befriend this kitty, oh yes, we will be friends......

Carno

I'm still in favor of running it over. I think you should think it over some more.

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biznatch

whatever you do, don't hurt it.
Water is probably the best way to go...
Running it over is plain wrong. I'm sorry, but if a kid were annoying you, would you seriously consider running it over as a solution? (this is aimed at Carn). Killing a living being, especially if it's somebody's pet shouldn't be considered an option. To me, it sounds crazy that you're actually thinking he should kill an animal because of this problem..

Carno

Well, probably not because a cunt dropping would damage my truck.

Now, if I had a brush guard on the front.....

*adds item on Christmas list*

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QuasiMojo

my felions name is Jenna and she just happens to be thee coolestcat this side of the mississippi..

For a fee
she'll be happy to be-
your backdoor cat.

seriously, she'll come around and take care of said Rogue cat. Then disappear in a puff and a whisp.

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biznatch

What in the world is a "cunt dropping" ?

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MSD

You, sir, need a moat.

phoenix1002

one word: airsoft

they shoot friendly plastic pellets that won't do more than maybe bruise the cat (unless you shoot it in the eye) but sting like a mother...

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Carno

An offensive name for a baby.

See also: fuck trophy.

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Martian

Tin foil works too. Cats hate tinfoil under their paws. Lay down a sheet of it in front of the door. Kitty won't want to walk on it. Mind you, that doesn't really protect your garden. I want to say beer there to do double duty for the cat as well as slugs, but I don't know if beer would really be a deterrent for a cat. Drunk cats are fun to watch though.

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