notes from my 2-year-old's experiments - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

clavus · 06-05-2005, 09:07 PM

My most recent experiments
By Barbarian Child – age 2

The vacuum cleaner bag is remarkably easy to tear. Once open, the contents simply spill out onto the floor by themselves. All manner of things can be found in the resulting pile – dried Play Doh, dust, hair, old food, dirt (lots of dirt), staples, etc.

I was not able to thoroughly inspect the pile before I was forcibly stopped. I will re-attempt this experiment once the new vacuum cleaner bag is full.

There is a drawer in the bathroom that contains dental care products. This entire drawer can be emptied into the toilet with room to spare. I’m sure of it. I was able to do so twice this week. I’m not sure what flushing will do once the bowl is full of toothbrushes and whatnot, but I intend to find out.

Drawers are interesting things. With enough effort, one can reach deep inside, back and then BEHIND the drawer. With a little more effort, the contents of the drawer can be removed and dropped behind it! When enough things are dropped back there, the drawer will no longer be able to close. I perform this experiment daily and get consistent results.

One can slip a limitless number of fridge magnets inside the wall behind the pocket door. However, only one copy of "Blues Clues Early Reader" can fit back there before the door becomes jammed in position. Removal of the book requires a fair bit of demolition to the door trim and adjacent wall. According to Mom, this is the only wall in the house she has not repainted, so we will be traveling to the hardware store to buy paint, after she repairs the drywall. I bet next time I can get TWO books in there.

Sweetpea · 06-05-2005, 09:12 PM

I think that is the funniest thing i've read all week

I've heard being a parent is so amazing... you learn things you never thought you would . . . seems that is the case

thanks for the laugh

Sweetpea

sadistikdreams · 06-05-2005, 09:17 PM

Haha. The terrible twos.

doodlebird · 06-05-2005, 11:08 PM

i hope the "illustrate a clavus story" theme is picked for this week's drawing activity. you've just added some nice fuel to the fire.

i believe my 16 mo. old might be in communication with your two year old. fridge magnets are indeed limitless. how are there any left on the fridge?

perhaps they reproduce at night.

f6twister · 06-06-2005, 05:14 AM

These could prove to be very valuable notes. My son is coming up on 1 1/2. Its like a crystal ball for toddlers. I gotta print this!

Janey · 06-06-2005, 05:45 AM

Warning Warning Barbarian child! do not, I repeat, Do Not attempt to do the vacuum bag test again. Big danger in that dirt.

Okay, Carry on youngling... (ps, vaseline and carpet make a good bond)

jbw97361 · 06-06-2005, 06:51 AM

this makes me want to have kids even more... someone else i can blame the blue's clues book thing on...

Vincentt · 06-06-2005, 07:41 AM

This is a very cute read, thanks

macmanmike6100 · 06-06-2005, 07:53 AM

very creative and hilarious!

ngdawg · 06-06-2005, 07:58 AM

Ah, memories.....thank goodness that's all that remains.
Future experiments for Barbarian Child to consider:
Chocolate pudding facial mask.
How many yards in a 30 minute VCR tape?
How thick can crayon be applied to walls before it can not be removed?
Does the volume of a two year old's body equal the volume of a full toybox?
How many bounces does it take to completely move a crib 14 feet across a room?
If mommy's not awake and I throw this expensive collector music box against the wall, does it make a crashing sound loud enough to wake her up?

canuckguy · 06-06-2005, 08:32 AM

..............

JStrider · 06-06-2005, 07:21 PM

lol... i remember when my little brother was at that age.

boredom · 06-06-2005, 09:48 PM

I hope i was never like that, well except when we lived in ohio there are huge trees that shed their leaves. I remember one day they were raking this huge pile i i ran straight into it boy was that fun. Good Times

RoadRage · 06-07-2005, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brian1975

very funny stuff as always clavus. my little girl is now 15 months old and very much a baby diva. she can cry, scream and shout then 30 seconds later be rolling on the floor in laughter. my mother inlaw is going through menopause at the moment...... ummmm.....

... and then they have the nerve to say that men never grow up.

snowy · 06-07-2005, 01:54 PM

Very funny! Reminds me of some incidents in my own history.

I broke the VCR several times as a 2-3 year old because I loved to stuff things into it. One particularly memorable incident involved my LP of Electric Mainstreet Parade...fortunately the LP escaped unscathed thanks to a handy repairman.

Not that I can listen to it anymore

maleficent · 06-07-2005, 01:59 PM

Nice to see such an inquisitive youngster... rather than just sitting on his duff watching television.. .Oh wait - I remember this tyke - - sitting still isn't one of his skills... I suppose you should be thankful he's no longer climbing all over the furniture risking life and limb...

A mother's curse... may you have a child just like you were... I can only imagine a wee Clavus...

clavus · 06-07-2005, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

A mother's curse... may you have a child just like you were... I can only imagine a wee Clavus...

That would be my firstborn. I was the GOOD kid.

Where this demonseed #2 came from is anybody's guess.

MikeyChalupa · 06-16-2005, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clavus

That would be my firstborn. I was the GOOD kid.

Where this demonseed #2 came from is anybody's guess.

I hear you brother... my firstborn is named for me (also a firstborn), looks like me, acts like me, and is such a great little kid. Just turned four.

The other one, the 19 month old who I like to refer to as "Hurricane" Andrew... well he looks like her, acts like her, and holy crap does he get into things. Everything is "MINE! MINE! MINE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

And now my wife wants to make him a middle child? Like she was? Hmm....

-Mikey

Eweser · 06-16-2005, 12:06 PM

Very funny stuff!

I don't have kids of my own, but i have a younger brother and a younger sister. my brother and i are only 5 years apart so i'm sure i helped him destroy at that age (but of course i was smart enough not to get caught, thus it all got blamed on him

) my sis is 19 years younger than me and she was pretty good....was big into doing whatever my mom did. if mom was cooking she'd go to her little kitchen setup. if mom was ironing, she'd have to give my sis a dish towel. can't remember what she used for an iron though...hhmmm. i love being the oldest.

Cartuni · 06-16-2005, 03:56 PM

SO funny!! You have such a talent for comic writing - please post more escapades, I mean "experiments" of the barbarian child.

I hope you've moved all your expensive electronics out of reach.

meembo · 06-16-2005, 04:33 PM

When my oldest son was three, we kept "losing" library books. We would check them out, bring them home -- and then they would disappear from sight. I paid the replacement cost for quite a few books.

Finally, I caught the little bugger in the act. He found a long, thing space in the kitchen cupboard installation that was only visible from a height of 30 inches or so. He inserted each book into that "slot", and the books fell into a space between cabinets. There were over a dozen books in there when I tore open the cabinets to get back there.

la petite moi · 06-16-2005, 08:19 PM

Thank god I'm never having children.

Xell101 · 06-17-2005, 10:35 PM

I was unusually nondestructive as a wee fella. I didn't do enough damage to anything at any point to have something to refer to as a time I broke something. My parents appreciate that. However, when my sister was four she smahed open a door as a result of becoming quite pumped while super pissed.

oblar · 06-18-2005, 07:46 AM

I wouldn't claim to be nondesctructive, but I wasn't intentionally destructive.. I mainly went after my brother's toys and chewed on them..

my sister on the other hand would wait until someone was watching, then with a smile, smash something. she liked attention.

Manuel Hong · 06-18-2005, 09:40 AM

Clavus, your stories always make for an entertaining read. Thanks!

Biscuit Buns · 06-18-2005, 10:07 AM

It's so nice to know I'm not alone. Bwahahahaha! Great experiments!

raeanna74 · 06-18-2005, 05:46 PM

So good to hear how Barbarian child's scientific experiments are progressing.

Additional experiment - licked Gummy bear/fruit snacks used as mini pain brushes on windows in house. Makes a VERY long lasting smiley face and other indistiguishable marks.

Thanks for sharing. I needed a good laugh. A young child's ingenuity continues to amaze me, even after working with children for 19 years. I'm sure it will never end.

06-05-2005, 09:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	notes from my 2-year-old's experiments My most recent experiments By Barbarian Child – age 2 The vacuum cleaner bag is remarkably easy to tear. Once open, the contents simply spill out onto the floor by themselves. All manner of things can be found in the resulting pile – dried Play Doh, dust, hair, old food, dirt (lots of dirt), staples, etc. I was not able to thoroughly inspect the pile before I was forcibly stopped. I will re-attempt this experiment once the new vacuum cleaner bag is full. There is a drawer in the bathroom that contains dental care products. This entire drawer can be emptied into the toilet with room to spare. I’m sure of it. I was able to do so twice this week. I’m not sure what flushing will do once the bowl is full of toothbrushes and whatnot, but I intend to find out. Drawers are interesting things. With enough effort, one can reach deep inside, back and then BEHIND the drawer. With a little more effort, the contents of the drawer can be removed and dropped behind it! When enough things are dropped back there, the drawer will no longer be able to close. I perform this experiment daily and get consistent results. One can slip a limitless number of fridge magnets inside the wall behind the pocket door. However, only one copy of "Blues Clues Early Reader" can fit back there before the door becomes jammed in position. Removal of the book requires a fair bit of demolition to the door trim and adjacent wall. According to Mom, this is the only wall in the house she has not repainted, so we will be traveling to the hardware store to buy paint, after she repairs the drywall. I bet next time I can get TWO books in there. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

06-05-2005, 09:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Location: in love	I think that is the funniest thing i've read all week I've heard being a parent is so amazing... you learn things you never thought you would . . . seems that is the case thanks for the laugh Sweetpea __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

06-05-2005, 09:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	Haha. The terrible twos. __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

06-05-2005, 11:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
doodlebird pío pío Location: on a branch about to break	i hope the "illustrate a clavus story" theme is picked for this week's drawing activity. you've just added some nice fuel to the fire. i believe my 16 mo. old might be in communication with your two year old. fridge magnets are indeed limitless. how are there any left on the fridge? perhaps they reproduce at night. __________________ xoxo doodle

06-06-2005, 05:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
f6twister Addict	These could prove to be very valuable notes. My son is coming up on 1 1/2. Its like a crystal ball for toddlers. I gotta print this! __________________ A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

06-06-2005, 05:45 AM	#6 (permalink)
Janey Junkie Location: Toronto	Warning Warning Barbarian child! do not, I repeat, Do Not attempt to do the vacuum bag test again. Big danger in that dirt. Okay, Carry on youngling... (ps, vaseline and carpet make a good bond)

06-06-2005, 06:51 AM	#7 (permalink)
jbw97361 Tilted	this makes me want to have kids even more... someone else i can blame the blue's clues book thing on... __________________ JBW

06-06-2005, 07:41 AM	#8 (permalink)
Vincentt Addict Location: Tokyo, Japan	This is a very cute read, thanks __________________ .

06-06-2005, 07:53 AM	#9 (permalink)
macmanmike6100 High Honorary Junkie Location: Tri-state.	very creative and hilarious!

06-06-2005, 07:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Ah, memories.....thank goodness that's all that remains. Future experiments for Barbarian Child to consider: Chocolate pudding facial mask. How many yards in a 30 minute VCR tape? How thick can crayon be applied to walls before it can not be removed? Does the volume of a two year old's body equal the volume of a full toybox? How many bounces does it take to completely move a crib 14 feet across a room? If mommy's not awake and I throw this expensive collector music box against the wall, does it make a crashing sound loud enough to wake her up? __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

06-06-2005, 08:32 AM	#11 (permalink)
canuckguy I read your emails. Location: earth	.............. Last edited by canuckguy; 12-26-2007 at 08:12 PM..

06-06-2005, 07:21 PM	#12 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	lol... i remember when my little brother was at that age. __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

06-06-2005, 09:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
boredom Insane Location: California	I hope i was never like that, well except when we lived in ohio there are huge trees that shed their leaves. I remember one day they were raking this huge pile i i ran straight into it boy was that fun. Good Times __________________ Wiggum: Find anything this time, boys? Cop: Uh, no sign of him, Chief. Wiggum: Princess Opal? Opal: I see nothing here, but I'm afraid it's splitsville for Delta Burke and Major Dad. Wiggum: But they seem so happy! -- ``Bart the Murderer''

06-07-2005, 01:54 PM	#15 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Very funny! Reminds me of some incidents in my own history. I broke the VCR several times as a 2-3 year old because I loved to stuff things into it. One particularly memorable incident involved my LP of Electric Mainstreet Parade...fortunately the LP escaped unscathed thanks to a handy repairman. Not that I can listen to it anymore __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

06-07-2005, 01:59 PM	#16 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Nice to see such an inquisitive youngster... rather than just sitting on his duff watching television.. .Oh wait - I remember this tyke - - sitting still isn't one of his skills... I suppose you should be thankful he's no longer climbing all over the furniture risking life and limb... A mother's curse... may you have a child just like you were... I can only imagine a wee Clavus... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

06-18-2005, 09:40 AM	#25 (permalink)
Manuel Hong Addict Location: Land of the puny, wimpy states	Clavus, your stories always make for an entertaining read. Thanks! __________________ Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)

06-18-2005, 10:07 AM	#26 (permalink)
Biscuit Buns Four of Wands Location: Somewhere entirely too hot.	It's so nice to know I'm not alone. Bwahahahaha! Great experiments! __________________ A hard man is good to find. ~Mae West

06-16-2005, 12:06 PM	#19 (permalink)
Eweser Psycho Location: O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A	Very funny stuff! I don't have kids of my own, but i have a younger brother and a younger sister. my brother and i are only 5 years apart so i'm sure i helped him destroy at that age (but of course i was smart enough not to get caught, thus it all got blamed on him ) my sis is 19 years younger than me and she was pretty good....was big into doing whatever my mom did. if mom was cooking she'd go to her little kitchen setup. if mom was ironing, she'd have to give my sis a dish towel. can't remember what she used for an iron though...hhmmm. i love being the oldest. __________________ "Whoever wrote this episode should die!"

06-16-2005, 03:56 PM	#20 (permalink)
Cartuni Upright	SO funny!! You have such a talent for comic writing - please post more escapades, I mean "experiments" of the barbarian child. I hope you've moved all your expensive electronics out of reach.

06-16-2005, 04:33 PM	#21 (permalink)
meembo Junkie Location: Connecticut	When my oldest son was three, we kept "losing" library books. We would check them out, bring them home -- and then they would disappear from sight. I paid the replacement cost for quite a few books. Finally, I caught the little bugger in the act. He found a long, thing space in the kitchen cupboard installation that was only visible from a height of 30 inches or so. He inserted each book into that "slot", and the books fell into a space between cabinets. There were over a dozen books in there when I tore open the cabinets to get back there. __________________ less I say, smarter I am

06-16-2005, 08:19 PM	#22 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Thank god I'm never having children.

06-17-2005, 10:35 PM	#23 (permalink)
Xell101 Junkie	I was unusually nondestructive as a wee fella. I didn't do enough damage to anything at any point to have something to refer to as a time I broke something. My parents appreciate that. However, when my sister was four she smahed open a door as a result of becoming quite pumped while super pissed.

06-18-2005, 07:46 AM	#24 (permalink)
oblar Über-Rookie Location: No longer, D.C	I wouldn't claim to be nondesctructive, but I wasn't intentionally destructive.. I mainly went after my brother's toys and chewed on them.. my sister on the other hand would wait until someone was watching, then with a smile, smash something. she liked attention. __________________ "All that we can do is just survive. .All that we can do to help ourselves is stay alive." - Rush

06-18-2005, 05:46 PM	#27 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	So good to hear how Barbarian child's scientific experiments are progressing. Additional experiment - licked Gummy bear/fruit snacks used as mini pain brushes on windows in house. Makes a VERY long lasting smiley face and other indistiguishable marks. Thanks for sharing. I needed a good laugh. A young child's ingenuity continues to amaze me, even after working with children for 19 years. I'm sure it will never end. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.