My Grandmother passed away last night. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

K-Wise · 09-18-2004, 02:31 PM

We had just gotten home when recieved the call that she had passed just minutes before we walked into the door. I think she was 86...my mom can't remember right now. I'm not really all that bummed out about it right now. The shock of it all hasn't really HIT me yet. It's definitely gonna hit me come time to visit family and go the funeral. The only thing thats bugging me right now is that I never even had a conversation with her. I can't speak spanish....it's mostly my parents fault but I am 20 years old now maybe if I had really tried I could have learned it fluently by now. I knew nothing about her other than she was my mothers mother and she married my Grandfather. Thats almost the gist of it. She was really old though so it's probably for the best. My Grandfather died not too long ago as well. I believe it was last year. I'm bad at keeping track of time. I only have 1 Grandparent left and thats my other Grandma on my fathers side whom I've also never had a conversation with for the very same reason. As for my other Grandpa I don't even know who he is or if he's even still alive cause my dad never knew him. I'ma be aight though it's just a little well I don't wanna say unexpected because she was old and worse..senile but you know what I mean.

Asta!!

inharmony · 09-18-2004, 02:35 PM

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Baldrick · 09-18-2004, 02:38 PM

I am truly sorry to hear that K... I'm dreading my Grandmother going (she's 89 and not in the best health), so it bothers me to read this. I know, selfish, but Grandma Hall has been my driving force for most/all of my life.

K-Wise · 09-18-2004, 02:40 PM

I can totally understand that. But now my Grandmother and my Grandfather are re-united again :')

Asta!!

Glava · 09-18-2004, 03:53 PM

My grandmother died on June 14th of this year, and today would be her 70th birthday. She was pretty close, and I saw her at least once a week. I imagine it must be easier for you since you weren't that close. I hope you're ok.

SiN · 09-18-2004, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-Wise

..But now my Grandmother and my Grandfather are re-united again :')

that's how I looked at it when my mom's mom died a few years ago. She was so lonely without my grandfather.

K-Wise · 09-18-2004, 04:30 PM

Well we were close I mean I used to go over to her house all the time when I was younger. She used to make us stacks of home-made Tortillas with butter until we couldn't eat another bite..and then continue to give us more. So yeah we were close...she loved me I loved her but I just couldn't really communicate with her without someone else there to translate.

Asta!!

Esco · 09-18-2004, 09:09 PM

I was in a similar situation. My father's parents do/did not speak English either. My memories of them include many awkward moments of silence and even times of embarrassment ... on my side, for not being able to understand Spanish. When most of the extended family spoke and understand Spanish and you don't it's very easy to feel left out.

My grandmother passed away last november. She had been ill for a while and I had visited her in October. I brought my first child to her so that she could pray over her and bless her. We didn't get to really talk but it didn't stop me from spending time with her. Before I left, I was able to tell her I loved her and that I cared for her ... and you know what, she understood me perfectly. That made up for everything I was never able to tell her.

omega2K4 · 09-18-2004, 09:49 PM

It won't really hit you till the funeral. Then the waterworks usually begin.

Shizukana · 09-18-2004, 10:38 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'd have to agree with omega's assessment - the funeral is when it starts to become more of a reality...well... if you're not directly involved with funeral arrangements.

pan6467 · 09-18-2004, 10:58 PM

You have my deepest condolences.

I know my grandmother is 93 and she is getting weaker. Even tho I am prepared as well as possible, when the time comes I'll be devestated because I have always been very close to her.

Take care and remember her fondly and try to smile, that's the best tribute to her you can give.

lurkette · 09-19-2004, 05:34 AM

I'm sorry, hon

Loss is always hard, and regardless of whether you could speak the same language, you still communicated your love for each other. I wish you healing.

hiredgun · 09-19-2004, 08:21 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My own grandmother has been losing the fight against Alzheimer's - she's still alive, but not really there anymore.

I hope you're able to heal. Your grandmother wouldn't have wished you sorrow on her behalf.

K-Wise · 09-19-2004, 06:19 PM

Quote:

It won't really hit you till the funeral. Then the waterworks usually begin.

When my Grandfather passed not too long ago it pretty much hit me right away...I mean not RIGHT away because I was asleep in my dorm room when I got the call early that day. So I sat up and sat there for a while thinking about it and then before I knew it the tears just started comin down...then we went to the hospital and I saw him...it was horrible..I wasn't ready for that. Not at all. Of course I was actually in town then so that mighta had something to do with it. I also talked to my Grandfather because he spoke english. He'd usually just bounce me on his knee and tell me to be a good boy. It really was her time though. She had Alzheimer's, she was a little senile, she didn't eat she got fed food through IV's, she had to wear diapers, and she slept a lot. That on top of having to be alone after my Grandfather went so it was really more of a blessing. We head out home (I call it home) tommorow. I have to be a pall bearer (sp?) again. I was for my Grandfather as well.

Asta!!

guthmund · 09-19-2004, 08:35 PM

Sorry to hear that.

It's hard to lose family even after a long battle with illness and like you said, it sounded like it was just her time and she's probably a lot happier now.

It's good that your going to the services. It's important to be there for the living as well as the deceased.

Blessings on you and your family.

denim · 09-20-2004, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by K-Wise

The only thing thats bugging me right now is that I never even had a conversation with her. I can't speak spanish....it's mostly my parents fault but I am 20 years old now maybe if I had really tried I could have learned it fluently by now.

As a 20 yo, you're your own person now. If you want to talk with your one remaining grandparent, get started on the ol' Espanol. It's useful around the USA these days, and should be easy to find someone to learn from.

ShaniFaye · 09-20-2004, 04:23 PM

Im so sorry to hear that sweetie.....even though you couldnt speak the language at least you DO have some fond memories to keep with you...*hugs*

Neptune · 09-22-2004, 03:29 AM

My grandmother passed away last year, and she was the first of my 4 grandparents to go. Yes, I am lucky to have them live so long, but having her go first just made it harder to deal with.
Her birthday was 29th of september which is the day after mine, so we used to all get together then. Birthdays are now hard to handle for me, as is Christmas.
But she's no longer in pain

Sorry to hear of your loss, trust me it gets easier with time.

skills1 · 09-22-2004, 03:47 PM

Sorry for your loss.

K-Wise · 09-23-2004, 01:55 AM

She went in her sleep which was good. The service was nice. Seeing family is always great too. They entombed her in a beautiful tomb...it's lined in a tar like substance (but that didn't take away from the beauty) and a vaccum seal so that nothing can enter the coffin. The weight of the dirt seals it so nothings getting in there including moisture. The coffin itself was also beautiful it had a mural on the inside of the lid with John 3:16 airbrushed onto it. That was her favorite scripture. The lid to the tomb or whatever it's called was a really beautiful picture of the sky. Thanx for showing support and all. Have a lovely day

Asta!!

bonehed1 · 09-23-2004, 07:20 AM

I think you should yell at your parents for being retarded for not teaching you spanglish.....you may have actually had some meaningful conversations with your grandparents but now you will never know......

09-18-2004, 02:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	My Grandmother passed away last night. We had just gotten home when recieved the call that she had passed just minutes before we walked into the door. I think she was 86...my mom can't remember right now. I'm not really all that bummed out about it right now. The shock of it all hasn't really HIT me yet. It's definitely gonna hit me come time to visit family and go the funeral. The only thing thats bugging me right now is that I never even had a conversation with her. I can't speak spanish....it's mostly my parents fault but I am 20 years old now maybe if I had really tried I could have learned it fluently by now. I knew nothing about her other than she was my mothers mother and she married my Grandfather. Thats almost the gist of it. She was really old though so it's probably for the best. My Grandfather died not too long ago as well. I believe it was last year. I'm bad at keeping track of time. I only have 1 Grandparent left and thats my other Grandma on my fathers side whom I've also never had a conversation with for the very same reason. As for my other Grandpa I don't even know who he is or if he's even still alive cause my dad never knew him. I'ma be aight though it's just a little well I don't wanna say unexpected because she was old and worse..senile but you know what I mean. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

09-18-2004, 02:35 PM	#2 (permalink)
inharmony Psycho Location: happy place	Sorry to hear about your loss. __________________ "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." Ghandi "Things do not change: We change" Henry David Thoreau

09-18-2004, 02:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
Baldrick We are everywhere... Location: Barrie, Ontario	I am truly sorry to hear that K... I'm dreading my Grandmother going (she's 89 and not in the best health), so it bothers me to read this. I know, selfish, but Grandma Hall has been my driving force for most/all of my life. __________________ You can be young only once, but you can be immature for the rest of your life...

09-18-2004, 02:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	I can totally understand that. But now my Grandmother and my Grandfather are re-united again :') Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

09-18-2004, 04:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	Well we were close I mean I used to go over to her house all the time when I was younger. She used to make us stacks of home-made Tortillas with butter until we couldn't eat another bite..and then continue to give us more. So yeah we were close...she loved me I loved her but I just couldn't really communicate with her without someone else there to translate. Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

09-18-2004, 03:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
Glava Betitled	My grandmother died on June 14th of this year, and today would be her 70th birthday. She was pretty close, and I saw her at least once a week. I imagine it must be easier for you since you weren't that close. I hope you're ok.

09-18-2004, 09:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
Esco Insane	I was in a similar situation. My father's parents do/did not speak English either. My memories of them include many awkward moments of silence and even times of embarrassment ... on my side, for not being able to understand Spanish. When most of the extended family spoke and understand Spanish and you don't it's very easy to feel left out. My grandmother passed away last november. She had been ill for a while and I had visited her in October. I brought my first child to her so that she could pray over her and bless her. We didn't get to really talk but it didn't stop me from spending time with her. Before I left, I was able to tell her I loved her and that I cared for her ... and you know what, she understood me perfectly. That made up for everything I was never able to tell her.

09-18-2004, 09:49 PM	#9 (permalink)
omega2K4 Natalie Portman is sexy. Location: The Outer Rim	It won't really hit you till the funeral. Then the waterworks usually begin. __________________ "While the State exists there can be no freedom. When there is freedom there will be no State." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin "Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form."- Karl Marx

09-18-2004, 10:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
Shizukana Insane Location: Plano, TX	I'm sorry for your loss. I'd have to agree with omega's assessment - the funeral is when it starts to become more of a reality...well... if you're not directly involved with funeral arrangements. __________________ "The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it." - George Bernard Shaw

09-18-2004, 10:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
pan6467 Lennonite Priest Location: Mansfield, Ohio USA	You have my deepest condolences. I know my grandmother is 93 and she is getting weaker. Even tho I am prepared as well as possible, when the time comes I'll be devestated because I have always been very close to her. Take care and remember her fondly and try to smile, that's the best tribute to her you can give. __________________ I just love people who use the excuse "I use/do this because I LOVE the feeling/joy/happiness it brings me" and expect you to be ok with that as you watch them destroy their life blindly following. My response is, "I like to put forks in an eletrical socket, just LOVE that feeling, can't ever get enough of it, so will you let me put this copper fork in that electric socket?"

09-19-2004, 05:34 AM	#12 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	I'm sorry, hon Loss is always hard, and regardless of whether you could speak the same language, you still communicated your love for each other. I wish you healing. __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

09-19-2004, 08:21 AM	#13 (permalink)
hiredgun Addict	I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. My own grandmother has been losing the fight against Alzheimer's - she's still alive, but not really there anymore. I hope you're able to heal. Your grandmother wouldn't have wished you sorrow on her behalf.

09-19-2004, 08:35 PM	#15 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	Sorry to hear that. It's hard to lose family even after a long battle with illness and like you said, it sounded like it was just her time and she's probably a lot happier now. It's good that your going to the services. It's important to be there for the living as well as the deceased. Blessings on you and your family. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

09-20-2004, 04:23 PM	#17 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Im so sorry to hear that sweetie.....even though you couldnt speak the language at least you DO have some fond memories to keep with you...hugs __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

09-22-2004, 03:29 AM	#18 (permalink)
Neptune Tilted Location: Sydney Australia	My grandmother passed away last year, and she was the first of my 4 grandparents to go. Yes, I am lucky to have them live so long, but having her go first just made it harder to deal with. Her birthday was 29th of september which is the day after mine, so we used to all get together then. Birthdays are now hard to handle for me, as is Christmas. But she's no longer in pain Sorry to hear of your loss, trust me it gets easier with time.

09-22-2004, 03:47 PM	#19 (permalink)
skills1 Tilted	Sorry for your loss.

09-23-2004, 01:55 AM	#20 (permalink)
K-Wise It's All About The Ass!! Location: In a pool of mayonnaise!!	She went in her sleep which was good. The service was nice. Seeing family is always great too. They entombed her in a beautiful tomb...it's lined in a tar like substance (but that didn't take away from the beauty) and a vaccum seal so that nothing can enter the coffin. The weight of the dirt seals it so nothings getting in there including moisture. The coffin itself was also beautiful it had a mural on the inside of the lid with John 3:16 airbrushed onto it. That was her favorite scripture. The lid to the tomb or whatever it's called was a really beautiful picture of the sky. Thanx for showing support and all. Have a lovely day Asta!! __________________ "I love music and it's my parents fault (closing statement)." - Me..quoting myself...from when I said that...On TFP..thats here...Tilted Forum Project *It ain't goodbye, it's see ya later! I'll miss you guys!* - Asta!!

09-23-2004, 07:20 AM	#21 (permalink)
bonehed1 Psycho Location: California	I think you should yell at your parents for being retarded for not teaching you spanglish.....you may have actually had some meaningful conversations with your grandparents but now you will never know...... __________________ Stuff is Good