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-   -   Ideal Number of Children to have? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/general-discussion/68503-ideal-number-children-have.html)

splck 09-09-2004 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam
I would say two, but my wife didn't want to have any more after the first one. That was one of the most bitter arguments we'd ever had, and it's probably the only thing I cannot quite forgive her for.

I had the same situation, she wanted one (didn't like being pregnant) and I wanted at least two. I guess we both got our way because we had twins. :thumbsup:
I could handle having more, but that ain't gonna happen ;)

Siccx 09-09-2004 06:43 PM

Children? I want to have six, but no less then four or so, just seems like the right number to me...

steve urkel 09-09-2004 09:53 PM

Two children would be ideal

The Phenomenon 09-09-2004 11:43 PM

The ideal amount of children = ZERO children.

09-10-2004 12:05 AM

We have 2, pretty happy with that. They are close in age and are pretty tight as friends and playmates. I grew up in the middle of three, never saw it as a big deal. I couldn't imagine more than that, between attention and money for each of them, it would be tough.

There are a lot of days where it would be great to have none, just put the dogs in the kennel and go... but life would seem so empty without them

ultra_agent9 09-10-2004 12:32 AM

I am from a family of 5 kids (I'm a twin to!) yet I have no desire to have any (planned) kids of my own.

ultra_agent9 09-10-2004 12:33 AM

I am from a family of 5 kids (I'm a twin too!) yet I have no desire to have any (planned) kids of my own.

bundy 09-10-2004 12:46 AM

zero is the perfect number.

Baldrick 09-10-2004 03:48 AM

I respect the "zero children" opinions, but I couldn't imagine life without my two daughters. We contemplated trying for one more child - hoping it was a boy - but we decided that two kids is the perfect number for us.

boatin 09-10-2004 08:35 AM

I think there are two questions (not that you asked, exactly):

Adoption or not?

How many?

The benefits of adoption are many. There must be thread here about adoption, mustn't there? We spent a month in Vietnam to pick up our daughter, and it was the among the best months of my life. Would be thrilled to answer PMs about adoption, as I don't have much time to post on that now. :D


As far as how many, I would vote one. I'm shocked there aren't more people that say that. With one, you still have some semblance of your own life. With two children, that is gone. This is validated by observing our many friends with one child, and the friends with more than one.

As far as the siblings to play with issue, it's far over rated. Many siblings DON'T play with each other. And many single children (like ours) have many many friends. There isn't a day that goes by that there isn't contact with other kids.

The best of both worlds!

Scorps 09-10-2004 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KellyC
Lurkette, You rock! :lol:

either one or none is my choice...


I heard lots of people say that and they end up with 2 or 3 kids! :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by splck
I had the same situation, she wanted one (didn't like being pregnant) and I wanted at least two. I guess we both got our way because we had twins. :thumbsup:
I could handle having more, but that ain't gonna happen ;)

Having twin would suck, my GF had one and her back and feet where killing her, I could just imagine what your wife went through, but my GF was also 3 weeks over due(9 pound 3 oz. baby girl) :eek:

HockeyGuy 09-10-2004 09:24 AM

IMHO 3 kids is about right.. i come fro ma family of 5

KMA-628 09-10-2004 10:16 AM

From a parent of three, two is a pretty good number.

One child was fairly easy. (planned)

Two wasn't very hard. (planned)

The addition of the third made the workload go up exponentially. (you're what?!?!)

As my wife says, having the third child makes you feel like you have 5 kids. I love all of my kids, but taking care of three is much, much harder then taking care of two. It doesn't help that the middle is potty-training and the youngest is in diapers.

inharmony 09-10-2004 10:32 AM

I always wanted a boy and a girl, however, there were other plans for me in the works. I had one son, actually thought I'd rather not have anymore. Became pregnant unknowingly, then lost the baby. Couldn't seem to get pregnant again fast enough. I don't think you really truly understand your needs or wants until it is out of your hands. I did become pregnant and had a second son. Happy as hell with them :)

Scorps 09-10-2004 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inharmony
I always wanted a boy and a girl, however, there were other plans for me in the works. I had one son, actually thought I'd rather not have anymore. Became pregnant unknowingly, then lost the baby. Couldn't seem to get pregnant again fast enough. I don't think you really truly understand your needs or wants until it is out of your hands. I did become pregnant and had a second son. Happy as hell with them :)

Loosing a baby is hard weather it is planned or not, I guy I worked with came in one week looking tired and depresses and a co-worker told that his GF had a miscarriage, he still isn't the same to this day, he is feeling better because he has a new son to take care of but that though will be with him. I can't think of how much a mess I would have been if I ever lost my Daughter I love her with my whole heart and not getting to see her everyday just makes me want to pick up and move to Switzerland, but then I'm leaving all my family and friends behind just so I can be with the 2 women I love the most....I don't think I could do that! She hasn't seen me in 4 years so her seeing me would be a big shock to her system and probably mine, I hope to get out there for a vacation in the next year or so...I miss them both(I should bring them both back with me:D) But I have talked to her on the phone!

Derwood 09-11-2004 04:53 AM

The correct answer is more than 1. I know it's a generalization, but I know WAY too many people who were "only children" who fit into the stereotype of being spoiled, unwilling to share (even as adults), and used to getting their own way on everything. I think kids learn a lot socially by having siblings.

Paq 09-11-2004 11:34 AM

ideal: none...I really do not see myself as being a good parent. I would be the most loving, adoring, caring, hardworking father in the world....but...I would rather not bring someone else into this world and i'd rather use those skills to help out someoen who is here already..

and maybe the chinese or muslims or whomever will outbreed 'us' but that's fine, I don't have to 'think of the children, won't somebody please, think of the children" :) I'm kidding, partially, but i do not believe in a cold war of breeding...

gremlinx8 09-11-2004 11:56 AM

I would like two children- a boy and then a girl. I would consider three, but two just seems to be the perfect number.

Fly 09-11-2004 02:23 PM

alot of you don't want kids........hmmmmmmmmmm.......


.....best damn things i've ever made were my kids.


1 boy-12,........1 girl-8.

i still get to learn along with them and it's a great experience.


...and i'm lookin' forward to the way they turn out.......


magic # of kids for me is 2........

(cuz i got snipped and can't have anymore)........[sarcasm](another real great experience)[sarcasm]

Frowning Budah 09-11-2004 02:43 PM

None for us. No more worry about what kind of parents would be and no worries as to what kind of children we would have.

splck 09-11-2004 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frowning Budah
None for us. No more worry about what kind of parents would be and no worries as to what kind of children we would have.

I looked forward to having kids so I could see what kind of parent I would be and especially what my kids would turn out to be.

canuckguy 09-11-2004 04:19 PM

my wife and i currently have a baby girl, 5 months old, would like to have 1 or 2 more kids, having them about 3 years apart. 2 for sure, the 3rd will be discussed after number two is 2-3 years old.

Squishor 09-11-2004 08:17 PM

None, I say.

I'm not so sure that siblings teach children to get along. Maybe it depends on the person, but my experiences growing up with my sister taught me to hoard small pieces of cheese and hide in closets - basically like a rat.

Scorps 09-12-2004 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by splck
I looked forward to having kids so I could see what kind of parent I would be and especially what my kids would turn out to be.

Thats the scary part my daughter turned out like her mother...thanks god

Dwayne 09-12-2004 01:45 PM

I would love one boy one girl. My girlfriend wants 2 boys 2 girls. Why not One girl, One Boy and one Other.

DEI37 09-12-2004 02:49 PM

Ideally, none. We have one, and love her. But, no more for us.

Amarth 09-12-2004 03:04 PM

It's a simple answer... PI.

Nah, I agree with two as well. Not too hectic, good social balance between the kids. 3 is a bit wierd and 1 is right out. 4 gets a bit crazy to keep up with... and so does everything above it. (I come from 2, so I may be a bit bias.)

Blue 09-12-2004 03:36 PM

1 of each(boy and girl).

hunnychile 09-12-2004 04:43 PM

I used to say I never wanted kids. Now, I know that I made a huge mistake and should have had one or two. They are real miracles and love incarnate.

Ideally, have as many as You can afford to care for, keep healthy and help educate. It's amazing how many 'brilliant sounding' tfpers are saying 'None' to this post...which makes me wonder which demographical groups are having the most kids, out there in the World.

Just wondering, because statistics reflect that the higher the person's IQ - the less likely that person is to procreate, in general.

Any thoughts?

pinkie 09-12-2004 07:12 PM

I didn't think I ever wanted children...

...then I got pregnant. :D

Now I have this amazing 13 year old person who is the most wonderful thing that could have ever come into my life. Also, we lost her dad 3 years ago, and she is so much like him sometimes it is just mind blowing. I am so appreciative that she's here with me. :)

Best thing I ever did.

charlesesl 09-13-2004 06:26 AM

2 for every individual familie. We already have too many people fighting for the limited resources there is.

monkeydriven 09-13-2004 06:57 AM

2 as long as it's one of each

Scorps 09-13-2004 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dwayne
I would love one boy one girl. My girlfriend wants 2 boys 2 girls. Why not One girl, One Boy and one Other.



Other :hmm:


LMAO :D

porkNbeans 09-13-2004 09:52 AM

Three works for me. Just make sure they are all boys. I don't think I could handle the daily emotional roller-coatser that comes along with raising even a single girl.

Middle-child syndrome? No such thing!

Ace_O_Spades 09-13-2004 10:17 AM

Wow, I can't imagine not wanting to have children... I would be very upset if my heritage died off with me, and I didn't leave a little piece of me behind in this world.

I think I'm going to be a great dad, I want no more than three kids... Any more than three and you need to buy a bigger car.

flamingpeach 09-13-2004 10:35 AM

Whats wrong with a middle child? I'm planning on growing 3 :D
.5 down, 2.5 to go ;)

analog 09-13-2004 04:51 PM

Ideal number of children: Zero.

hiredgun 09-14-2004 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ARTelevision
There is only one smart choice here, IMO.
That is "none."


Wow. I can completely understand that some might not want children of their own. But your answer seems to imply that that's the only choice that makes sense for anyone. If everyone followed your advice, wouldn't the human race die out?

I'm just interested in hearing where you're coming from :).

combatmedicjen 09-14-2004 08:00 PM

I'm one of three, and I wouldn't have traded my childhood for anything. We always had each other growing up, but now we're scattered throughout the country. I miss my little bros:(

I have a 9-year-old stepson, whom I love to pieces, and I want two of my own someday.

Scorps 09-15-2004 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hiredgun
Wow. I can completely understand that some might not want children of their own. But your answer seems to imply that that's the only choice that makes sense for anyone. If everyone followed your advice, wouldn't the human race die out?

I'm just interested in hearing where you're coming from :).


Ya I would like to know why you wouldn't want to keep your family name going?


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