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rangers20082008 12-04-2009 07:15 PM

Do adults go out every weekend?
 
I'm in college and am sitting home on a friday night feeling like a loser. Question is, after college do people still go out every weekend, or is it considered normal to entertain yourself, by yourself, on a weekend night?

Baraka_Guru 12-04-2009 07:26 PM

I'm not sure there is a "normal." The lifestyle of adults varies greatly, I imagine. It depends on a number of things: where you live, your income level, whether you have kids, whether you're a social butterfly (i.e. extroverted). Sometimes life gets really busy and you don't feel like going out. When your week is crazy, the idea of going out and spending even more energy can be a bit daunting.

There is nothing wrong with staying in every so often. I happen to be a stay-at-home type. That's partly because I don't have much money, but a lot of it has to do with being introverted and enjoying solitude and quiet. I like small gatherings though. I think the big thing for many people, as well, is hosting parties or dinners, etc., in small groups at home. Not quite going out, but it isn't being by yourself either.

Sometimes we just need solitude. Even on the weekend.

snowy 12-04-2009 07:35 PM

Well, seeing as I'm staying in and having a movie night at home with my sweetie, I'd say staying in is pretty normal. For us, going out on a Friday is rare. We're usually too tired to do that after a long week of work and school. We usually make it out about one Friday a month.

Baraka_Guru 12-04-2009 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowy (Post 2736250)
[...] We usually make it out about one Friday a month.

Holy shit, I'm tired. I read this as "We usually make out about one Friday a month."

I was about to say... maybe you should be staying in more often. :o

wooÐs 12-04-2009 07:57 PM

Going out socially is pretty rare for me. I've lost contact with quite a few friends and old coworkers. My fault.

Bill O'Rights 12-04-2009 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rangers20082008 (Post 2736244)
Do adults go out every weekend?

Speaking as someone that's been an adult (though my wife may disagree) for the past 29 years, I can report to you that; no, adults do not go out every weekend.

maykim 12-04-2009 08:28 PM

As said above there is no "normal" in terms of going out. Personally I went out alot when I was younger, stayed in while my daughter was young and now I go out every weekend once if not twice. Having a great time! Second childhood? Maybe, but it's so fun! don't worry and find something to do tomorrow if it makes you feel bad to stay home...

Cynthetiq 12-04-2009 08:30 PM

I may go out every weeknight but I do not necessarily go out every weekend night. I probably reserve half of my weekends either sat or sun to just stay home and not see any other people except my wife.

sometimes we are socially booked for extended periods, but I prefer that my weekends are free just for me to decide what to do.

I stay home fri night and sat nights all the time it seems strange to me when i go out that i see all these morons trying to get laid, get drunk and cause mayhem. this makes it not so fun to go out.

Wes Mantooth 12-04-2009 09:31 PM

It seems to be less and less common these days doesn't it? 24/7 workweek, both men and women working full time, odd days off during the week among other things, throw in the bad economy and it really seems like a thing of the past. I honestly don't know any peers that strictly go out on the weekends anymore, usually its just about finding a night here and there to get out and be it Tuesday night or Saturday night.

A little OT but I have to ask. Am I the only one that feels like the very idea of a weekend itself is rather an old fashioned concept? When I was very young I remember when you couldn't go anywhere on a Sunday (even gas station were closed), thirty years later I often forget that it is Sunday...just me or has our society changed that much since the early 80's?

Plan9 12-04-2009 10:44 PM

No, we have jobs and families that sap us of the will to live.

Wes Mantooth 12-04-2009 10:52 PM

So very true! People are just waaaay to busy these days aren't they?

Cynthetiq 12-05-2009 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wes Mantooth (Post 2736281)
It seems to be less and less common these days doesn't it? 24/7 workweek, both men and women working full time, odd days off during the week among other things, throw in the bad economy and it really seems like a thing of the past. I honestly don't know any peers that strictly go out on the weekends anymore, usually its just about finding a night here and there to get out and be it Tuesday night or Saturday night.

A little OT but I have to ask. Am I the only one that feels like the very idea of a weekend itself is rather an old fashioned concept? When I was very young I remember when you couldn't go anywhere on a Sunday (even gas station were closed), thirty years later I often forget that it is Sunday...just me or has our society changed that much since the early 80's?

Bergen County NJ has blue laws so most everything is closed on Sunday. Bergen County is where 1% of all retail shopping is concentrated. It is where they use the indicator for if Xmas sales are good based on how full the parking lots are during the week.

A number of years ago a measure was put forth to the voting public to repeal the law. It did not pass. People in Northern NJ like the fact that they get a day of rest.

What sucked for me at the time was that I worked 6 days a week until about 7PM. Most businesses closed at 7, only thing left open was the market and Blockbuster. I had to go to the next county south on Sundays to go shopping in Jersey City, or even go into Manhattan to shop.

Wes Mantooth 12-05-2009 12:47 AM

Its odd Cynthetiq, Sundays are a double edged sword. On one hand having such a busy life means often times Sunday is the only day I really get any shopping done however having a universal day of rest were everybody gets to reset all at once is pretty nice too. Honestly its hard to say which I like better.

On a side not I did not know that about Bergen County, 1% (is that just the US or the whole world? Silly question?) doesn't sound like much but I guess when you think about the sheer size of the retail market thats pretty unreal! Learn something new everyday.

Strange Famous 12-05-2009 01:50 AM

I dont... I dont know if Im normal

Poppinjay 12-05-2009 03:25 AM

I spent most weekends in college watching the entertaining and fabulous Friday night lineup on the assorted networks. This is how I saw the '89 earthquake that shook Oakland and Frisco during the Word Series. The people in the A's stadium were all like, "hey, this is what we do, we have earthquakes!"

I digress. Digressing kept me from having fun for so many years. Who knew Family Guy would raise it to a lucrative art form?

At any rate, staying home/in the dorm is what almost all college kids and young adults do. The few out there having fun make it look tilted. Life pretty much follows this continuum - shit, I'm 30, if only I had known at 20 what I know now. Shit I'm 40, if only I had known at 30 what I know now. Shit I'm 50, if only I had known at 40 what I know now. Shit I'm 60, if only I had known at 50 what I know now. Shit I'm 70 and I pee'd myself.

genuinegirly 12-05-2009 03:30 AM

It would be far too exhausting for me to go out every weekend. I'm lucky if I go out once a month. Then again, it depends on your definition of "going out." I will leave my house several times every weekend, whether to do laundry, grocery shopping, hiking, etc. But going out to a bar or club for drinks? Yeah, that's pretty rare.

little_tippler 12-05-2009 03:39 AM

Not sure what you mean by 'adults'. That is a very broad term heh.

But anyway, I am 29, live alone, have a job and pay my own bills so I guess you can call me one.

I think it varies a lot from person to person. Most of my friends don't go out every weekend night at all. People stay in with their SO's or they have friends over for dinner or a movie. Sometimes they just want to relax after a long week.

Currently I don't go out that often on a Friday, that night is usually a night I stay in and relax, but sometimes I'll go out to dinner and drinks with friends. On some Saturdays I go out dancing with friends. Maybe two weekends per month I go out I guess. Sometimes less. I go for whole months sometimes without going out at all on Friday and Saturday.

Staying in doesn't mean you're a loser. It's a choice. Staying in is really great when you enjoy your own company and know what you want to do with your time. If you want to go out more, then you should just find the right group of friends for that to happen more. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Cynthetiq 12-05-2009 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poppinjay (Post 2736342)

At any rate, staying home/in the dorm is what almost all college kids and young adults do. The few out there having fun make it look tilted. Life pretty much follows this continuum - shit, I'm 30, if only I had known at 20 what I know now. Shit I'm 40, if only I had known at 30 what I know now. Shit I'm 50, if only I had known at 40 what I know now. Shit I'm 60, if only I had known at 50 what I know now. Shit I'm 70 and I pee'd myself.

when you're 80 you shit yourself. no joke grandma did it in the car recently.

---------- Post added at 09:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:26 AM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by little_tippler (Post 2736349)
Not sure what you mean by 'adults'. That is a very broad term heh.

But anyway, I am 29, live alone, have a job and pay my own bills so I guess you can call me one.

I think it varies a lot from person to person. Most of my friends don't go out every weekend night at all. People stay in with their SO's or they have friends over for dinner or a movie. Sometimes they just want to relax after a long week.

Currently I don't go out that often on a Friday, that night is usually a night I stay in and relax, but sometimes I'll go out to dinner and drinks with friends. On some Saturdays I go out dancing with friends. Maybe two weekends per month I go out I guess. Sometimes less. I go for whole months sometimes without going out at all on Friday and Saturday.

Staying in doesn't mean you're a loser. It's a choice. Staying in is really great when you enjoy your own company and know what you want to do with your time. If you want to go out more, then you should just find the right group of friends for that to happen more. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

ah that's an interesting point, is do you like being with yourself.

Fly 12-05-2009 06:52 AM

weekends..........hell,life is what you make it.........i keep entertained every single day.


bring it on..........

Strange Famous 12-05-2009 07:28 AM

I think I am an adult, mostly. Im 31, havent lived with parents since 18, have a job, etc

In terms of "going out" I probably physically go to my local (pub) on average 3 or 4 times a wee. but its 300 yards from my flat, I dont really count it as going out

To be honest, when you work full time (ie 45+ hours a week) and have sporting commitments, and enough social things you dont want to do but kind of have to (family, work, friendship reasons) you kind of look forward to just having time with you gf/bf, on yourown - just to relax and chill out... at least in my experience.

But I dont count stopping off at the pub for a pint on the way home or to see a mate for one or two as "going out". To me, an occasion I cant dress as I please (ie - like a tramp) is "Going out"

The Pub is an extension of home to me, same as football and the badminton club is.

yournamehere 12-05-2009 11:33 AM

Well, I haven't purchased an alcoholic drink in over a year, and I haven't eaten at a restaurant that didn't have a drive-thru within the past 4 years.

I'd hardly call that normal, though.

hunnychile 12-05-2009 02:01 PM

When I was a kid, I was always going out every Friday & Saturday night. It was great fun and I liked seeing bands & dancing & partying with all my favorite friends. After I got married and held a full time job... it was always more fun to have friends come to our place...still seems like that although our friends respect us enough to call first and ask what they can bring. I'm always up for making snacks or dinners for my favorite buds. Most of us that have been married a long time now (geez, for me that's 30 years!!) and prefer to save money & visit each other at various homes to "hang" & enjoy life, food, music together. Very civil and lots of laughs.

However, to keep the interest alive in our marriage, me or my hunnyman plan at least one night out as a wild card every month, whether it's a new restaurant or club or even something like a date at a museum & lunch out. If not I do seem to go nuts & get bored but so does he. Hence my love of good porn, hahaha, but I digress. I gotta say that watching sports is such a big deal with my man (A major Cavs addiction) that I go do fun stuff alone...& often. I need the stimulus.

Luckily we don't need too much to entertain ourselves at home - we cook great stuff and tend to plan a movie together later in the night on the couch or snuggled up in bed. When I rent from Netflix...I always pick one he'd like and one I'd like. Guess I'm an over-achiever in the "equal rights" movement. Too many chick flicks and he bails!! :)

We're lucky because I keep it fun & he tries to also. I just can't see dumping tons of money on clubs or restaurants that are loud, cold & crowded, where friends can't talk about intresting topics. In truth, It doesn't hurt that he & I are both gourmet cooks. Our friends love that about us. Yes, we are very lucky people! Much to be thankful about.

So Call and yes, Stop in when you're in town! If your stuck in Y-town, Ohio that is.....

wooÐs 12-05-2009 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hunnychile (Post 2736529)
When I was a kid, I was always going out every Friday & Saturday night. It was fun and I liked seeing bands and dancing and partying with all my friends. After I got married and held a full time job if was alsways more fun to have friends come to my place...still seems like that although our friends respect us enough to call first and ask what they can bring. I'm always up for making snacks or dinners for my favorite buds. Most of us that have been married a long time now (geez, for me that's 30 years!!) prefer to save money & visit each other at various homes to "hang" & enjoy life, food, music together.

There are 5 houses total, of neighbors here - it's been up to 8 at one point but they've moved --- in the evenings during the summer, we get together on someone's back porch and drink and eat and laugh and listen to some tunes, etc. During the week sometimes too - like a few drinks after work and such and maybe some dinner too. We're all on the same block. In the mornings on weekends, we'll do coffee and plan what we're doing that day - who needs help with what, etc. We've helped build decks, added a room to a house, etc. Big project stuff and such. But during the cold months, we never see each other. Only for Christmas / New Year's. But when summer comes around, we're all outside again. I love this. I'm sure I'll never have neighbors like this again if I ever move.

ring 12-05-2009 02:30 PM

I live in bucolic land of the "friday night fish-fry."

The restaurants & the smallest of taverns have their sworn dedicants.

I think it's a coleslaw thing.

hunnychile 12-05-2009 03:00 PM

Yes, the coleslaw is extremely important!

(Loved your post!!!!) And always keep your fork because the best is yet to come!

uncle phil 12-05-2009 03:10 PM

what's "out?"

hunnychile 12-05-2009 03:45 PM

Um, "Out" as in - you wearing clean clothes and leaving the house for something other than milk, bread or smokes, I guess....

pan6467 12-05-2009 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rangers20082008 (Post 2736244)
I'm in college and am sitting home on a friday night feeling like a loser. Question is, after college do people still go out every weekend, or is it considered normal to entertain yourself, by yourself, on a weekend night?

You sound like me when I was going to Hiram College. 95% of the student body left on weekends for either Cleveland, Kent State, Youngstown, etc to party down. I was pretty much always in that 5% that stayed. For me, I felt pretty fuck lame and ended up having serious problems that affected me for many years after (drink, gambling, low self esteem, etc.).

I think college is tough for most. It's your true first independence in life. Many see it as a chance to socialize meet people from different backgrounds and so on.

The media and movies tell us college is not supposed to be boring. Right? According to them, we're all supposed to party hearty and be out all weekend enjoying ourselves. Hell, I evened joined a frat, but was too shy and had such a low self esteem I kept to myself.

It is very hard if you are introverted and have problems making friends with strangers and so on, like I did, to find people wanting to out in public with you. And it feels awkward to go by yourself because you don't know how to talk to people. (That's my personal experience.)

20+ years removed I look back and there were fun times and there were people who tried to be my friend I just didn't know what that meant or how to act and drove people away. Drinking till you throw up, making an ass of yourself every time out and so on will drive people away.

My suggestion is to find people that share the same hobbies/goals/etc you do and to have fun. Control your drinking, don't binge and lose control.

Trust me there are a lot of people out there like you who would love to have fun they just maybe too shy or scared to ask. Find your inner strength and confidence and find them.

Speaking from experience, it can be just as lonely and boring surrounded by 100's of people as it can be by yourself. You need to find your inner comfort level, once there all else falls into place.

As for going out after college. I think the media (movies, tv, books) make it seem like the vast majority do. But this day and age, all the DUI laws and the economy, most people stay in, maybe have friends over.

KellyC 12-05-2009 07:04 PM

Even a college student like me, who presumably is not yet "adult" even though I'm of age, don't go out every weekend. Then again, I'm introverted as well. BUT, I have extrovert, very very social friends who don't even go out every weekend.

Reese 12-06-2009 01:57 AM

I live in rural Kentucky. Nothing happens here. I used to hit up a few parties but then I turned 21 and quit drinking...

MSD 12-06-2009 07:58 AM

Going out every weekend in college isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yes, bars and keggers are fun, but every weekend is too much for most people. You're just hearing about it from the ones who have no lives outside of being drunk.

I eat out with friends about once a week, my friends with the projector in their living room invite my brother and me there to watch hockey at least every two weeks, and random parties happen once a month or so. Going to my friends' place to watch hockey probably doesn't count since nobody cares if I take off my pants and lie down on a couch.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous (Post 2736393)
In terms of "going out" I probably physically go to my local (pub) on average 3 or 4 times a wee. but its 300 yards from my flat, I dont really count it as going out

Not only does having a pub 300 yards from your house still count, it's convenient as hell. Not to derail, but you've mentioned trying to lose weight and having issues with depression, I cut way back on drinking and found that I lost weight quickly and my mental state improved significantly, you might want to try it.

Derwood 12-08-2009 08:21 AM

If by "going out" you dropping $100+ to get shit-faced at a bar, no, I haven't done that in a decade.


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