Worst food you've ever had
 

I just had something called "Macababies Mini Pizzas." Now, I'll try to ignore the bastardizing of a famous figure in Jewish history, nevermind that this product is geared toward orthodox Jews (it's kosher). It is absolutely awful. In fact, I feel sick right now. This product was made for little Jewish kids who need a nice, wholesome, kosher snack after school, and for the mom who's too busy to feed them herself but can't find anything kosher. So the story is, like most kosher mass-market products, that some MIRNF (Mother I'd Rather Not Fuck) pitched the idea and made the first batch of Macababies herself. Yeah, sure. Even if it were true, she's a terrible mother who wants to push her horrible pizza on the rest of the world for an extra buck.

The first thing you notice about this product is that the pizzas are covered in some kind of slimy cheese and they're difficult to get out of the box. Turns out that slimy cheese is Muenster cheese. Why did they choose Muenster? To those few who like Muenster with a sandwich... trust me, it is not a good idea for pizza.

Moving on. After you pop a few in the microwave, you'll notice they look like something you would not want to put your mouth anywhere near. Something happens to the cheese during heating that makes it look unedible, to say the least. Sorry, but I don't have a picture to show you. Did I mention I threw out my first batch of Macababies days ago? The coagulated cheese was why. I thought that maybe it had E. coli or something. But I was desperate enough to try it again tonight.

Then you notice the smell. If you like your pizza smelling (and tasting) like a mixture of plastic and cardboard, this in the pizza for you. I, however, do not. The first few bites also taste distinctly of a ridiculous infusion of sugar. Almost desperate. Like they knew this product sucked and thought "Oh, we'll just add some more sugar" would save it.

Bottom line: Don't go anywhere near this crap. I only did because I like to try and discover new foods. This was a mistake. I don't know what's more sickening: assholes who want to squeeze the earnings from people desperate for kosher products, or this disgusting piece of shit called "Macababies Mini Pizzas."

Meatloaf MRE, 2001-2006 production.

Eating it often made me want to die.

Um... one should generally make a point of avoiding all processed foods. Those pizzas sound foul but just about as foul as anything of that ilk.

My worst... the list is long because I try so many different foods.

The latest was a buffet dinner I had last Friday. It was the Christmas party for the school at which my wife works. The food was bland and horrible. I just don't understand how any self-respecting chef can turn out crap like that and still call themselves a chef.

Was it just terrible or do you not like meatloaf? I'm curious about trying an MRE...

Other types of processed mini pizzas are much better. This kosher crap tasted more "processed" than anything else I've ever had. Perhaps the Muenster cheese does well in absorbing the flavor of the surrounding cardboard.

After a while I couldn't eat the entree's in the MRE any more. I got such bad heartburn from them that I couldn't even drink water and ended up in the TMC getting 2 liters of saline pumped into my left wrist. Up until BCT I had NEVER had heartburn in my life. At best I'd eat the dessert, bread, candy, crackers, etc. I think it was the extraordinary amount of preservatives in the entree that made me ill. I mean, you could TASTE the preservatives. What else can you expect from a food that has a GUARANTEED shelf life of at least five years?

I hear they're a little better now, but it's a cold day in Hell when I try one again.

Besides MREs the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten is eel. The taste is wretched, and the texture even worse.

c-rat "ham-and-motherfuckers..."

That's easy... tripe.

I disliked horse (foal meat) the last time I tried it. Not because it was from a "cute" domestic animal, but because it just tasted bad. Others may like it.

I also do not like jellyfish tentacles, chicken feet, singed sheep head, boiled skate/ray, or blood-liver sausage.

Deep Fried Eel.

The taste itself wasn't so bad (a bit like regular whitefish) but it was the greasiest thing I've ever eaten and between the tough, inedible skin and the cross shaped spine, the meat was really hard to get to.

What a disappointing and unpleasant eating experience.

'Incredible Edibles',Didn't care much for 'Space Food Sticks' either.

I once had "Shark on a Stick", at a state fair. I guess it was broiled or steamed or something. Flavorless, tough, and nasty.

I rather enjoyed brains and eggs, though.

bear.


absolutly disgusting..........it was mixed into pepperoni sticks.........and my god was it nasty.

on a side note though........the same time,i had cougar pepperoni.......and that was just fantastic.

*i still have the poor buggers skull up in my studio*

Natto. It's fermented soybeans. People here love it. It looks and smells like it belongs in a diaper. God forbid my girlfriend eat it- I am terrified of the "natto kiss".

I'm not too big on cuttlefish.

Beets. I just can't... ugh I can't even think about them.

A buddy and I were walking around a deserted market in Bali a few years ago and came across two of the hottest Balinese women and a food cart. They were selling something, i don't know what, but my buddy is one of those "I'll try anything once" kind of guys, so he ordered whatever they were selling. And it was one of those things where there were about 2 dozen bowls of un-identifiable stuff and you had to pick which ones you wanted added to your bowl. So he picked a bunch and they put it in bowl, and then they poured coconut milk over it all and gave it to him. Now, Balinese women are beautiful! So they had these big, sexy smiles and my friend picked up his spoon and took a bite, and he looked at me, with the spoon still in his mouth, and his eyes were wide, and he said, "this is the most disgusting thing I've ever had in my mouth!" But he couldn't disappoint the beautiful girls and he ate the whole thing!

Tripe. Hand's down. One of the reasons I no longer eat meat.

Also, if someone ever offers you chitlins, don't eat them. You'll be sorry if you do.

Hippie.

some bizarre form of "chicken" nuggets at the american airlines headquarters in dallas, where i was at a conference. not only were they nasty, but they caused some allergic reaction. i wouldn't have touched them normally, but i was trapped in america at the time and was really hungry. they still make me cringe.


tripe in a fine bowl of pho is ok, i think.
but i can't quite figure out how i would force down a steaming heap of it.

Most of my worst meals I associate with food poisoning. I had this awful salad at a restaurant in Bandon, Oregon that made me pretty sick. I ordered a shrimp salad with the "house" dressing, which sounded like some kind of sesame-ginger dressing, which I enjoy. What actually came out was a salad with wilted greens, only a handful of baby shrimp, and the dressing wasn't actually sesame-ginger--it was more like sweet and sour sauce. It had chunks of pineapple in it. Yuck. Disgusting.

I also hate chicken tempura as a result of some undercooked tempura I ate at a Japanese restaurant in Seattle once. I got really sick from it, which sucked because we went to see the Pacific Northwest Ballet's Nutcracker right afterwards, and I spent most of it in misery. Not fun, and I didn't get to enjoy the ballet. Bummer.

A roast beef sandwich smothered in delicious mayonaisse that turned out to be smooth horseradish--my first ever exposure to the vile condiment, so I had absolutely no frame of reference for the 'you just got maced in the face' sensation that it caused.

An expired pack of Nekot cookies. A friend let me have them and they were 2 years expired. I've never ate anything that bad before. I don't come close to gagging very easily, but one bite of that and I was literally running for the drink machine gagging the entire way.

These stories are hilarious!
I can't seem to remember anything truly terrible - but I added cheap boxed table wine to my french onion soup a month or so ago. I normally make it with a blend of chardonnay & merlot. Ruined the meal.

I think my worst ever meal was something I cooked myself. I added vinegar to try and offset some sweet BBQ sauce which I previously added too much. Uggh - neither my wife or I could stomach eating it.

At least it was a learning experience :)

I have yet to run into anything I didn't like.



I love food. All of it.

Gimmie your address, man. I've got something for you.

I'll mail you the worst thing you've ever put in your mouth: Menu #24.

cromp, you never tried these?

Stinky Tofu:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinky_tofu
<img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2109/2084551257_273d240ec9_o.jpg" width="220" height="148" alt="Stinky Tofu" />
My wife and her sister love this stuff...my brother-in-law and myself think it smells and tastes like dog poo. Fortunately we all agree that the worst is:

Durian:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian
<img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2381/2084551227_756bbace97_o.jpg" width="260" height="197" alt="Durian" />

They stopped C-rats in '83. I wasn't walking yet, bro.

I will have to agree with you on the Durian. Nasty stuff.

I used to think it was liver and onions, until...

...that rotton Jordan Almond that I had years ago. It tasted so terrible, I spit it out and I ate another one quickly to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth. But...that one was rotton, too. Last time I ate Jordan Almonds (those almonds with colored, hard candy coating.)

i like durian, and i have yet to smell the "used baby diaper" smell everyone talks about.

worst food i had was "bo shin tong," which is dog soup in korea. i asked for it on purpose, just to try it. boy was that stupid. it was stringy, tough, and tasted like used battery acid in a vomit sauce. and i got sick after i ate it, which didn't help my opinion of it. maybe it was just the place that cooked it badly, but i'll never know if there is such a thing as "good" bo shin tong.

Maybe you had gallstones too from that crap, Cromp?

My grandma forced me to purchase sardines once. Nasty shit. I thought I could use the extra protein, so I mixed them with some seafood-flavored ramen that I had. What an awful concoction.

i ate chitlins once. ONCE. i think they are a joke black folks play on us dumb white folks....

http://www.homestead.com/gruntfixer/files/crats.html

under B-2 rats, buddy...

worst tastin' shit ever...

You mean actual dog? Even if I still ate meat, I just couldn't get used to the idea of eating a dog :(

Are you gonna mail me your cock?

This thread is amazing.

I would have to say.... a tomato. Yes you heard that right, a ripe, fresh and juicy red tomato. Last time I tried to take a bite I immediately threw up afterwards. I dare to never try one again.

If so, I'd guess it is his more by 'possession is 9/10 of the law' than by 'i was born with this attached'

It wasn't exactly the smell of Durian that did me in, though I am sure it was involved. Durian shifts from being a really tasty custard/caramel flavour to a horridly putrescent flavour. I've never had such joy combined with such horror in my mouth.

As for Dog... I haven't had it but know that it's pretty common in Korea. What you point out is my biggest problem eating new foods here... the style of cooking is so different that I don't always know if the reason I dislike something is because of bad preparation or just that I don't like the dish. It's why I tend to subject myself to some of the dishes more than once just to be sure.