Jesus Saves? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

MikeyChalupa · 07-31-2003, 08:24 AM

A man was trapped on a sinking boat that. As the water lapped around his feet, a motor boat suddenly approached.

"Come on, man, get in!" said the boatman.

"No," said the guy on the island, "I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!"

The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chest, another boat appeared.

"Get in the boat, or you're going to drown!" said the boatman.

Again, the guy said, "No, I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!"

The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chin, a third boat appeared.

"Get in, this is your last chance!"

"No, Jesus will save me!"

So the boat went off, the water continued to rise and the guy drowned. He went up to heaven and was greeted by Jesus.

"Hey, Jesus," he said, "I trusted in you all my life and you let me drown! I don't believe it!"

"YOU don't believe it?" Jesus said, "I sent three fucking boats to save you, dumbass!!"

-Mikey

shred_head · 07-31-2003, 09:20 AM

Hahaha, I've heard that one before but its still good. I like how Jesus swears.

Regziever · 07-31-2003, 11:44 AM

Hehehe.. Good one! Heard it before but its still verry funny!

PayUp · 07-31-2003, 04:41 PM

heard a different version, funny all the same

pancakerabbit · 07-31-2003, 05:59 PM

I like this version

Motorbreath · 07-31-2003, 07:50 PM

hahahaha good one

petergriffin24 · 07-31-2003, 08:13 PM

good stuff

Slims · 07-31-2003, 11:02 PM

nice.

tfpfreak · 08-01-2003, 09:35 AM

IDIOT!!

TerresqueÜ · 08-01-2003, 10:21 AM

Never deny help!

Good one.

Happyland · 08-01-2003, 11:55 AM

never heard that before Nice one brother

BentNotTwisted · 08-01-2003, 02:50 PM

I know I've heard it before, but it's still a classic. Thanks for telling it again.

Ancient.Hero · 08-01-2003, 04:49 PM

just his luck

SirLance · 08-01-2003, 09:01 PM

The Lord works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform. Funny!

doomdoom · 08-02-2003, 07:36 AM

I heard this in church a while ago....Minus the swearing anyways.

I always liked it.

the naked lion · 08-03-2003, 01:11 AM

i loved it!

gloveshot3 · 08-03-2003, 06:55 AM

Jesus saves! everyone else pays retail.

Sluggin · 08-03-2003, 07:29 AM

That one rocked. I'm using it, mwaha!

TSFM · 08-03-2003, 09:10 AM

Great joke dude. And a good one there as well gloveshot3.

07-31-2003, 08:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Jesus Saves? A man was trapped on a sinking boat that. As the water lapped around his feet, a motor boat suddenly approached. "Come on, man, get in!" said the boatman. "No," said the guy on the island, "I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!" The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chest, another boat appeared. "Get in the boat, or you're going to drown!" said the boatman. Again, the guy said, "No, I have faith in Jesus. He will save me!" The boat went off and the water continued to rise. When it was up to the guy's chin, a third boat appeared. "Get in, this is your last chance!" "No, Jesus will save me!" So the boat went off, the water continued to rise and the guy drowned. He went up to heaven and was greeted by Jesus. "Hey, Jesus," he said, "I trusted in you all my life and you let me drown! I don't believe it!" "YOU don't believe it?" Jesus said, "I sent three fucking boats to save you, dumbass!!" -Mikey

07-31-2003, 09:20 AM	#2 (permalink)
shred_head Psycho Location: Atlanta, GA	Hahaha, I've heard that one before but its still good. I like how Jesus swears. __________________ "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" -- Albert Einstein "A clear indication of women's superiority over man is their refusal to play air guitar." --Frank Zappa

07-31-2003, 11:44 AM	#3 (permalink)
Regziever Sexy eh? Location: Sweden	Hehehe.. Good one! Heard it before but its still verry funny! __________________ Life is shit, Death is even worse, So what's the point of killing yourself? /Ignatius Camryn Paladine

07-31-2003, 04:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
PayUp DILLIGAF Location: AZ	heard a different version, funny all the same __________________ Born to Lose.

07-31-2003, 05:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
pancakerabbit Tilted	I like this version __________________ I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. - Jack Handey

07-31-2003, 07:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
Motorbreath Upright	hahahaha good one

07-31-2003, 08:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
petergriffin24 Insane	good stuff

07-31-2003, 11:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	nice. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

08-01-2003, 09:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
tfpfreak Crazy Location: MS	IDIOT!! __________________ Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be. ~ Clementine Paddleford

08-01-2003, 10:21 AM	#10 (permalink)
TerresqueÜ Hiding Out	Never deny help! Good one. __________________ Say yes to the 'Tilted Roleplaying' Forum http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1932&highlight=petition

08-01-2003, 11:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Happyland Insane Location: where happiness lives	never heard that before Nice one brother __________________ someone else here must like Walton & Johnson too

08-01-2003, 02:50 PM	#12 (permalink)
BentNotTwisted Optimistic Skeptic Location: Midway between a Beehive and Centennial	I know I've heard it before, but it's still a classic. Thanks for telling it again. __________________ IS THAT IT ???!!! Do you even know what 'it' is? When the last man dies for just words that he said... We Shall Be Free

08-01-2003, 04:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ancient.Hero Upright	just his luck

08-01-2003, 09:01 PM	#14 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	The Lord works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform. Funny! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

08-02-2003, 07:36 AM	#15 (permalink)
doomdoom Tilted Location: Upstate, NY	I heard this in church a while ago....Minus the swearing anyways. I always liked it.

08-03-2003, 01:11 AM	#16 (permalink)
the naked lion Upright	i loved it!

08-03-2003, 09:10 AM	#19 (permalink)
TSFM Upright Location: Troy University	Great joke dude. And a good one there as well gloveshot3. __________________ Kappa Kappa Psi Spr. '04: Eight Harmonic Minors #2, "Punchline"

08-03-2003, 06:55 AM	#17 (permalink)
gloveshot3 Crazy	Jesus saves! everyone else pays retail.

08-03-2003, 07:29 AM	#18 (permalink)
Sluggin Upright	That one rocked. I'm using it, mwaha!