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I agree with sixate and Big Julie.. I hate to be so tough, but this situation sounds like crap. If she doesn't want to replace you or have a relationship with someone else, why on earth does she want to mess with other people?
I personally think you should move on and find someone who is on the same page as you. I know that will hurt, but it will be easier for you in the long run. If you're done with that oat sowing business now, you need someone who is done with it as well.
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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
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