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i'm not sure what the answer is into gaining empathy. to me it's either something you either do or don't have. if you want to change which it sounds like you do, then that's the first step. awareness that you are this way (lacking empathy) and then acceptance.
maybe a shift in your world view. realize that the world doesn't revolve around you? that there is more to existance than yourself? try helping others everyday. babysit. work in a nursing home :-D just do something you think would help make a difference towards other people. it could be small like giving them a compliment when they seem down.
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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin
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