Uptown, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so undesireable. I suspect that it is in your head, which is easier than it being true for your husband, but I know that doesn't make it easy.
My wife is 34. She isn't as toned as she was when we met at 18. Overall, however, she is hotter, and a large part of that is her brain and her attitude.
Yes, I look at other women, and I look at porn. This does NOT affect how I look at my wife. Actually, scratch that, it does. My eyes enjoy seeing women's bodies. I see them, and I think "I'm looking forward to getting my hands on my wife". And, I'm not fantasizing that my wife is someone else.
Are you getting ANY indication from your husband that he finds you unattractive? It doesn't sound like it to me.
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I can't read your signature. Sorry.
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