rainheart

Ok, I've been trying to figure out a good, solid way to end this problem and I've put some thought into it and most of my conclusions aren't the conclusion that I want to come to.

Here is the problem:
I have a friend who constantly picks on me by say, physically hitting me as I walk by or just by being anywhere near his vicinity (they are light hits, but extremely annoying and disconcerting nonetheless, especially because it puts me into a position of weakness when done in front of others), in a way teases me by motioning to hit me in front of my friends (e.g. running up to me and pretending he's in some retarded wrestling match and I'm his opponent), and, since he purchased his zippo lighter he keeps lighting it up and bringing it near me like he's going to burn my clothes or set me on fire or something like that.

Now I know what you are thinking by now: this guy is very immature. And you're right, I don't know why my friends put up with his crap-- well, I do- because they're not the victims. He picks on ME! Fuck that. I thought at first ignoring him would make him stop, and then I told him to stop very clearly several times ("Don't even fucking go there") and he still insists!

And I refuse to be a victim of his shit, and because I'm so pissed off about all this the only scenario I can set up in my head to solve all this is where I snap one day and tell him to either fuck off in all his entirety or stop doing what he's doing. Unfortunately this sort of behaviour will alienate me from him and/or my friends (nobody likes to see someone who's almost always collected snap out and go nuts, and that experience will be imprinted on their memory for a good while, and radically change how they view me).

I cannot hurt him back! He is bigger, stronger, he's in the Canadian army cadets and his physique is unsurpassed compared to me. He is preceived as a nice person by everyone else because they are not victimized. He either doesn't think it's a big deal because, hey, we're guys, OR, because he is ignorant of the fact that he is causing me stress.

The conclusion that I would LIKE to come to is one where he can acknowledge that I will not put up with what he is doing, that I respect myself and I don't tolerate these things, and that I don't give two shits that he's bigger or stronger, and essentially have him view me as he does the people who he doesn't bully, or better yet respect me after I do whatever I should do to solve this problem.

Please don't give me advice to walk away! That won't do because some of these people are not friends, they are just a means to a social experience. If that last bit seemed a little eccentric or weird, whatever. I don't want to formally make him aware of the fact that he is bullying me and ask him to stop like I got out of my first assertiveness class (I don't take any).

Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you in advance for your replies (advice, comments, or flames).