I'm thinking here... is sex so sacred? Here are a few arguements against abstinence.
1. What if your partner sucks? Sure, you may love them to death, but let's face it.. some people cant catch on to certain things. This is then the first conflict of your marriage. "Oh my God, I married a stiff." This may work for couples who don't plan on having much sex, but today's society doesn't really let people think that way much.
2. Impotence. Premature Ejaculation. You NEED to test drive the car. Who the hell invests their LIFE in something that they aren't 100% sure of?
3. Insecurity. I believe sex is a fun activity. It's all about pleasure and enjoyment. If you put any more weight on it, then it becomes so stressful and loses it's charm. Chances are, anyways, your first time wont be a big blast of fun. Which leads to...
4. It's anticlimactic to wait for marriage. You'll be lying there, having only lasted a couple seconds, thinking, "THAT is sex?"
5. No variety. Humans aren't pillars of iron will. Sooner or later, you're gonna wonder, "Can it be better?" "Can it be different?" "I've been boning/boned by the same person for the last 5 years and I don't know if this is as good as it gets or not."
6. Physical mismatch. Big penis meets tiny vagina. Sure, they are meant to stretch, but it's still gonna hurt all the time. Tiny penis meets big vagina. "Is it in yet?"
Here are a few arguements FOR abstinence. (Taken from various websites)
1. Religion. If you're religious, it's probably against your beliefs to get a little pre-nup nookie. Appease your God.
2. Health. You wanna make sure you never get an STD? Easy... just make sure you're both virgins from start to finish.
3. Avoid Pregnancy. This is a no-brainer. The best contraceptive is no sex at all.
4. Strong relationship. Some argue that abstaining lets couples focus on the emotional and intellectual side of a relationship before learning eachothers bodies.
5. Failure rates of contraceptives. Condoms break, the pill can be neautralized. It's a war zone out there.
Propaganda:
http://www.abstinence.net
Counter points....
1. Contraceptives have advanced in the last 20 years. If you put enough effort into it, then pregnancy should not be an issue.
2. Education about sex is a better substitute than abstinence for a rational (read: non-religious) couple. The more you know, the more you can avoid the consequences of happless sex.
3. Relationships are all different. Assuming that building a relationship without sex is a cure-all then you're putting a cookie cutter to the canvas. If you're intelligent and honest about your relationship, then sex should in fact be a strengthener.
4. Lop-sidedness in the relationship (one partner is abstinent, one is not) will cause rifts. This is quite a black and white subject in which compromise is useless. As long as the couples are compliant with counterpoint 3, then they have a good chance of escaping (having sex) with their relationship intact.