After seven years, it's not unusual to have the 'spark' in any romance fade, though it sounds like you've definitely got extinuating circumstances. In all honesty - and this isn't meant as a dig in any way - it sounds like a professional counselor would be worth your while here. He or she might help you better deal with the issues that are disturbing you about this side of your fiancee.
Marriage is hard enough - and you don't want to go into it thinking you'll be miserable in certain aspects of your life. Sounds like you're doing a good job of talking to your fiancee, but this is your issue and she can't be held responsible for how you feel.
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"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."
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