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WhoaitsZ · 08-03-2003, 01:57 AM

Yo, Hanx.

I am sorry you lost someone suddenly. To lose a life is kind of impossible to imagine fully, yet the pain and confusion can be severe.

I’ve lost a nephew named Tyler James Matheny at seven weeks of age. I was only fourteen and I cared about the kid, yet I took it for granted; I was a kid and in love with my first.

Now when I reflect it sometimes causes me everything but unbearable pain and guilt. To this day I do not recall holding him or anything. I feel horrible now, cuz I sucked as an uncle. But deep down I know it was just. . life. We cannot live without life.

I have been on death’s door many times… I never felt the ease so many speak of, yet it is not the worse thing either.

So, I have lost also. Nephew, both of my mother’s parents, an uncle who loved me very, very much and a girl I had a crush on . . . she was murdered. The worse, besides the nephew, are my pets. They are my babies, man. I’m the only guy I know who you simply should never be shocked to see fly by you in a wheelchair with God only knows what on his shoulder. Parrots, kittens, lizards. I still ache over the last four deaths. Three were freak, sudden accidents, one my Chihuahua who protected our animals and everyone else. If he got a squirrel outside, it’d die. But of Gizmo knew he was ours, he’d protect it. One pet was my quaker parrot Buddy. This bird was my room mate, my buddy, my baby for right at five years. He loved me to death and would dive bomb anyone who approached me. He would laugh or call me or whatever; I swear he had more intelligence than some people I know. Now he too is gone. But goddamn those years were beautiful! I also lost two lizards. One I hand fed and took care of for a month before he finally passed. The other was a freak accident…

To most people this could insult; me comparing people and pets, but the point is I have lost and I know how it can be. I am sorry for your pain. I am glad that you cared and do not want pity. You’re a good man, dude. A hardass, but a damned good man and friend. PM or chat at me anytime.

08-03-2003, 01:57 AM	#13 (permalink)
WhoaitsZ Crazy Location: right behind you...	Yo, Hanx. I am sorry you lost someone suddenly. To lose a life is kind of impossible to imagine fully, yet the pain and confusion can be severe. I’ve lost a nephew named Tyler James Matheny at seven weeks of age. I was only fourteen and I cared about the kid, yet I took it for granted; I was a kid and in love with my first. Now when I reflect it sometimes causes me everything but unbearable pain and guilt. To this day I do not recall holding him or anything. I feel horrible now, cuz I sucked as an uncle. But deep down I know it was just. . life. We cannot live without life. I have been on death’s door many times… I never felt the ease so many speak of, yet it is not the worse thing either. So, I have lost also. Nephew, both of my mother’s parents, an uncle who loved me very, very much and a girl I had a crush on . . . she was murdered. The worse, besides the nephew, are my pets. They are my babies, man. I’m the only guy I know who you simply should never be shocked to see fly by you in a wheelchair with God only knows what on his shoulder. Parrots, kittens, lizards. I still ache over the last four deaths. Three were freak, sudden accidents, one my Chihuahua who protected our animals and everyone else. If he got a squirrel outside, it’d die. But of Gizmo knew he was ours, he’d protect it. One pet was my quaker parrot Buddy. This bird was my room mate, my buddy, my baby for right at five years. He loved me to death and would dive bomb anyone who approached me. He would laugh or call me or whatever; I swear he had more intelligence than some people I know. Now he too is gone. But goddamn those years were beautiful! I also lost two lizards. One I hand fed and took care of for a month before he finally passed. The other was a freak accident… To most people this could insult; me comparing people and pets, but the point is I have lost and I know how it can be. I am sorry for your pain. I am glad that you cared and do not want pity. You’re a good man, dude. A hardass, but a damned good man and friend. PM or chat at me anytime.