3zos

My girlfriend and i were getting extremly close, to the point where both of us were thinking about marrage..

But the fact that she was thinking that scared her (in fact it scared me too, but not as much as it bothered her) she really loves me, but felt like she had not had enough experences to just be with one guy for the rest of her life (this is the same way i felt, but didn't want to bring it up and hurt her feelings, so we stayed together) so eventualy, at what seemed the peak of our relationship we decided to go on a break..

Things were a little odd while we were in the same town, and we acted like we were going out most of the time. But now she is in europe for study abroad (while she is there we decided not to communicate at all, live our lives on our own), and i recently found out from a friend that is there too that she made out with the british friend of her's while she was there. I know this probably shouldn't bother me because in essence we are broken up right now, and i know that if I found a girl (hard as hell sometimes) I wouldn't stop her or myself from doing anything. I guess what really sucks is that I know that she is going to see this guy in a week or two (she is going to visit him on her last free weekend and stay with him and his parents) and who knows whats going to happen then.

I know that I want her back (i think about her all the time, and even appriciate her more than when we were going out), but I am scared that I won't trust her anymore, even though I know that if she dose get back together with me she will probably mean it. Another thing is that im worried that she is doing this just to have fun with other guys over the summer, and knows that i'll be here when she gets back... but that could just be me making up situations that don't exist in my head...

Life can really suck sometimes...

If anyone has any advice, let me know...

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