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Also, could be your aim's off. Does she guide you in? Or are you just jabbing around down there?
YES about water-based lube. Even if you're not using a condom (and if not, what the hell are you thinking!?), some people have weird reactions to oil-based lubes.
Put her on top. Let her inch herself down on you. Don't you move a <i>muscle</i>. Leave her completely and totally in charge.
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