Thanks for the great feedback
I had that up for a while on my ejournal, but the journal had fallen into disuse, and the poem was buried four months back into the journal itself, so it took some digging.
The sad thing is how much I truly dislike the vast majority of the poetry to which I've been exposed. I write very strongly, and have the capacity to create substantial pieces of prose and poetry both, however I find that I generally dislike writing. That's about the only poem I have that's even in draft form, and nothing truly completed. It took me several long nights with a pencil and paper (indeed, I even used archaic utensils to create the original) and axed an entire stanza at one point to keep the length manageable. I may start writing poetry again, possibly heading towards a more purely metaphysical arena with my work. Any comments on style or content would be very appreciated