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I live alone but have in the past shared an apartment and expenses with girlfriends but never was a secret spender, I don't think any of my girlfriends were either. I've always felt in those situations there were certain obligations we both needed to meet. Were the bills paid? Did we get what we needed at the grocery store? The car gassed up? If we'd met those obligations then the money left over, that we'd earned, was respectively ours and we could spend it how we saw fit.
I'm sure marriage and building a life together is a little more complex but if you've met your obligations nobody should ever have to hide something they purchased with money they've earned...
...unless its that porn cache you've got hiding in the garage behind your work bench, then its perfectly justified.
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“My god I must have missed it...its hell down here!”
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