Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Is it normal for a doctor to be asking all those personal questions?

Idyllic · 05-18-2010, 06:20 PM

A good doctor puts nothing off, a good doctor listens to a patient about their body and try’s to either explain to a patient or help a patient understand the biomechanics’ of an issue, by not doing so the doctors themselves can create a worsening issue be it anxiety related or physiological. A good doctor understands that somebody who comes in to an office and says something is wrong, typically means, something is wrong, be it mental, physical or environmental.

A good doctor wants to help the patient to feel better, if this doctor doesn’t realize the additional issues he is causing you, ask him for a referral to see a therapist who can then validate your mental capacity at which point you can return to him with a mental check up which will help him see that this issue you are experiencing is more that “in you head” as it seems he may be leaning towards.

Doctors don’t know everything, especially about YOUR body specifically, and sometimes they just don’t want to listen to somebody who challenges their general understanding, in their minds it’s a simple skin ailment, until you have proven otherwise by exhausting all options. Be kindly adamant, keep a journal and do all the things you know they will ask, change this, and try that. In the end though, if you walk into that office with an “I will not do what you want me to do” attitude, but “I still want a referral to a specialist,” there is nothing more they can do for you because you really haven’t proven you need one. I know that sounds confusing, but insurance will balk at him and a specialist will be p.o.’d if a simply skin issue shows up that could have been taken care of at the pcm’s office (I’m not implying anything about your skin here, just making a statement).

Unless you’ve broken something, are bleeding or are clinically obvious, a lot of the time a diagnosis can be more of a process of what it is NOT as opposed to what it is, be patient, unless you think this condition can or will kill you (at which point, e.r. but be ready to pay the highly emotionally painful, overreacted, hypochondriac payment for not being “real” sick). Calm educated questions and acknowledging a doctors efforts work best.

As far as questions go, if you want a doctor to listen to you, answer their questions as honestly as possible, if you wonder why they are asking you a particular question, ask them. It could be simple, maybe there is a higher relation to a certain form of poison found in water in certain districts or soil samples, you don’t know unless YOU ask, if he is impatient, maybe he/she is having a busy day, you need to be patient too. If you feel this doctor is doing you a disservice, carefully inform how his seemingly brushing you off is making you feel, voice how HE seems is making you feel, but let him know that you value his opinion and that you are just frustrated with the situation, not with him (a doctors ego can be a fragile thing).

Know that if you refuse to take a specific medication for any reason other then an allergy to it, you are saying to him “you are wrong” and not even trying to let him help you (in his mind). Ask yourself, do you really know this medication will not work, if you wish to push that button, “I know more than you about a medicine I’ve never taken before”, and this is your pulpit, you better go get you own degree, because most doctors just don’t roll that way.

You know, there is so much to say about continuity of care, but that has to start somewhere, find a doctor you trust to start a long term relationship with and build trust in each other together. But don’t ever be afraid to stand up for yourself and walk out if you feel truly uncomfortable, they are not gods’ even if they act like ones on T.V. or in the office right their in front of you.

One more thing, next time you go, bring your SO, or an advocate, even if they sit quietly, which they typically should, just having someone in the room that can support YOU may help you and let the doctor know that you are not “alone” so he has to be prepared to answer to both of you for his curt disposition, not to mention, it is always nice to know somebody’s got your back and agree with you, Yea, that doctor really is acting like a jerk.

05-18-2010, 06:20 PM	#20 (permalink)
Idyllic Psycho Location: My House	A good doctor puts nothing off, a good doctor listens to a patient about their body and try’s to either explain to a patient or help a patient understand the biomechanics’ of an issue, by not doing so the doctors themselves can create a worsening issue be it anxiety related or physiological. A good doctor understands that somebody who comes in to an office and says something is wrong, typically means, something is wrong, be it mental, physical or environmental. A good doctor wants to help the patient to feel better, if this doctor doesn’t realize the additional issues he is causing you, ask him for a referral to see a therapist who can then validate your mental capacity at which point you can return to him with a mental check up which will help him see that this issue you are experiencing is more that “in you head” as it seems he may be leaning towards. Doctors don’t know everything, especially about YOUR body specifically, and sometimes they just don’t want to listen to somebody who challenges their general understanding, in their minds it’s a simple skin ailment, until you have proven otherwise by exhausting all options. Be kindly adamant, keep a journal and do all the things you know they will ask, change this, and try that. In the end though, if you walk into that office with an “I will not do what you want me to do” attitude, but “I still want a referral to a specialist,” there is nothing more they can do for you because you really haven’t proven you need one. I know that sounds confusing, but insurance will balk at him and a specialist will be p.o.’d if a simply skin issue shows up that could have been taken care of at the pcm’s office (I’m not implying anything about your skin here, just making a statement). Unless you’ve broken something, are bleeding or are clinically obvious, a lot of the time a diagnosis can be more of a process of what it is NOT as opposed to what it is, be patient, unless you think this condition can or will kill you (at which point, e.r. but be ready to pay the highly emotionally painful, overreacted, hypochondriac payment for not being “real” sick). Calm educated questions and acknowledging a doctors efforts work best. As far as questions go, if you want a doctor to listen to you, answer their questions as honestly as possible, if you wonder why they are asking you a particular question, ask them. It could be simple, maybe there is a higher relation to a certain form of poison found in water in certain districts or soil samples, you don’t know unless YOU ask, if he is impatient, maybe he/she is having a busy day, you need to be patient too. If you feel this doctor is doing you a disservice, carefully inform how his seemingly brushing you off is making you feel, voice how HE seems is making you feel, but let him know that you value his opinion and that you are just frustrated with the situation, not with him (a doctors ego can be a fragile thing). Know that if you refuse to take a specific medication for any reason other then an allergy to it, you are saying to him “you are wrong” and not even trying to let him help you (in his mind). Ask yourself, do you really know this medication will not work, if you wish to push that button, “I know more than you about a medicine I’ve never taken before”, and this is your pulpit, you better go get you own degree, because most doctors just don’t roll that way. You know, there is so much to say about continuity of care, but that has to start somewhere, find a doctor you trust to start a long term relationship with and build trust in each other together. But don’t ever be afraid to stand up for yourself and walk out if you feel truly uncomfortable, they are not gods’ even if they act like ones on T.V. or in the office right their in front of you. One more thing, next time you go, bring your SO, or an advocate, even if they sit quietly, which they typically should, just having someone in the room that can support YOU may help you and let the doctor know that you are not “alone” so he has to be prepared to answer to both of you for his curt disposition, not to mention, it is always nice to know somebody’s got your back and agree with you, Yea, that doctor really is acting like a jerk. __________________ you can tell them all you want but it won't matter until they think it does p.s. I contradict my contradictions, with or without intention, sometimes.