haywoodu

I should be in bed, but I can't sleep because I'm thinking about someone. I powered up the computer and crawled out from under my duvet after an hour of lying in the dark not knowing precisely what I feel. There's a girl, or was a girl. There is a girl, somewhere, bothering me. Miles away from me now. About 5 maybe. I never bothered to compare the distance on a map. She has the most perfect smile. It fills me with warmth. She makes me angry and she makes me sad and she makes me numb and she makes me happy. All at the same time. I'm so glad that I met her. I'm so glad that I've known her. I'm not so glad that we don't talk anymore, or that she feels so guilty around me that we probably won't ever meet again. She has a boyfriend, and I have a girlfriend. I love my girlfriend and I know that she loves her boyfriend, it's just that when we were together there was something there.

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I hide my tears when I say your name, for the pain in my heart is still the same.