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Its not a question anyone can answer other than you I guess, but if you desribe someone as "abusive" and thats accurate, thats a pretty bad state of affairs. Its easy to stay with someone because it becomes a habit, and it isnt always the wrong thing to do, but staying with someone who doesnt make you happy is wrong. Any relationship is only worth it if it makes both parties feel better.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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