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Shaindra · 04-19-2009, 12:02 PM

I dated a guy who was 10 years older than I am. He looked every one of his years, balding and overweight. I've also dated guys who were 15 years younger than I am. I'm generally regarded as looking between 5 and 10 years younger than I am. Having had two kids, I have the stretchmarks to mark that period of my life when I was busy growing a life. I never really gave it much thought, anymore than I gave thought to the smattering of freckles on my chest, or the scar on my leg from when I fell riding a bike as a kid. Just part of me.

It was the older guy, who, after a romp, asked me if I'd considered lasering my stretchmarks. He had also asked me on another occasion if I'd considered getting my boobs done. Now, you can pick on me about the 10 or so extra pounds I carry and I might sulk. But my breasts are pretty damn good for anyone, nevermind someone who nursed two kids into toddlerhood. And I already mentioned that the stretchmarks didn't bother me. They never seemed to bother my younger lovers either.

I could've become very insecure about my stretchmarks. But why? We're all aging. True, some of us better than others. Physical perfection doesn't exist outside of airbrushed magazines and carefully prepared moviestars. And they only portray perfection. Anyone in the business will tell you the work that goes into making someone look that good.

And then I think about my lovers. The ones that made my pulse race and my skin flush. None of them were physically perfect. In fact, I've dated guys who were amazingly attractive...but my body knew and didn't respond the same way. Attraction isn't as simple as a perfect face or body. So I assume it's the same for the men I date. If I "do it for them" it won't be because or in spite of some physical imperfections. It just is. I accept it as my due and enjoy it accordingly. If you focus on how you make someone feel...and how they make you feel...there is precious little room left over for worrying about stretchmarks or wobbly bits.

04-19-2009, 12:02 PM	#58 (permalink)
Shaindra Psycho Location: Massachusetts	I dated a guy who was 10 years older than I am. He looked every one of his years, balding and overweight. I've also dated guys who were 15 years younger than I am. I'm generally regarded as looking between 5 and 10 years younger than I am. Having had two kids, I have the stretchmarks to mark that period of my life when I was busy growing a life. I never really gave it much thought, anymore than I gave thought to the smattering of freckles on my chest, or the scar on my leg from when I fell riding a bike as a kid. Just part of me. It was the older guy, who, after a romp, asked me if I'd considered lasering my stretchmarks. He had also asked me on another occasion if I'd considered getting my boobs done. Now, you can pick on me about the 10 or so extra pounds I carry and I might sulk. But my breasts are pretty damn good for anyone, nevermind someone who nursed two kids into toddlerhood. And I already mentioned that the stretchmarks didn't bother me. They never seemed to bother my younger lovers either. I could've become very insecure about my stretchmarks. But why? We're all aging. True, some of us better than others. Physical perfection doesn't exist outside of airbrushed magazines and carefully prepared moviestars. And they only portray perfection. Anyone in the business will tell you the work that goes into making someone look that good. And then I think about my lovers. The ones that made my pulse race and my skin flush. None of them were physically perfect. In fact, I've dated guys who were amazingly attractive...but my body knew and didn't respond the same way. Attraction isn't as simple as a perfect face or body. So I assume it's the same for the men I date. If I "do it for them" it won't be because or in spite of some physical imperfections. It just is. I accept it as my due and enjoy it accordingly. If you focus on how you make someone feel...and how they make you feel...there is precious little room left over for worrying about stretchmarks or wobbly bits. __________________ "Never regret something that once made you smile."