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On the Links
Vern was teeing off from the men's tee. On his downswing, he realized that his wife, Lucretia, was teeing up on the woman's tee directly in front of him.
Unable to stop his swing, he nailed it, and hit her directly in the head, killing her instantly.
A few days later, Verne got a call from the coroner regarding her autopsy.
Coroner: "Verne, your wife seemed to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and hit her in the head, is that correct?"
Verne: "Yes, sir, that's correct."
Coroner: " Well, inexplicably I found a golf ball wedged up her rear."
Verne: "Was it a Titleist 3?"
Coroner: "Yes, it was."
Verne: "That was my provisional."
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"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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