damage from sexually abusive relationships
i was talking to an old friend of mine earlier tonight and he told me that he had just learned that his girlfriend was in a sexually abusive relationship a while back and that she was crying about it. scary stuff. she just suddenly came out with it after a year of dating him. he didn't know how to react and said he felt horrible because all he could do was nod and comfort her like a sympathetic blow-up doll. he was as troubled with the situation as i seem to find myself troubled by my thoughts right now.
i counted it up and over half of the women i've been with in my life have been sexually attacked or abused at some point in their lives. it ranges from a one time thing at a party to a year-long relationship they couldn't seem to end or get out of.
the thing that gets me is that they always seem so normal. they keep it hidden inside due to shame and denial and things I can figure out and yet not. and judging from how physical some of them have been in bed you'd swear they couldn't get enough sex. even after learning one girlfriend had been abused by a previous partner, it still always surprised an shocked me when the next one would tell a similar story.
it horrifies me to think that my intimate partners have suffered through such agony. it makes you, as a partner, feel useless regardless of any action you take. it is something i will never really understand. it makes me so angry and sick inside to think about.
i assume that a woman is never the same after such a thing and yet somehow it has happened to so many women i've known and it remains hidden under the surface.
how does it change things in a relationship and how should i react when I'm confronted with it again?
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