1.. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
2.. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
3.. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
4.. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
5.. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
6.. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
7.. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
8.. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... '
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