Originally Posted by Prince

We've been more sexually active, but I wouldn't say above normal, more like back to normal. There's some stuff I'd like to do, like fuck outside, but she's still as inhibited as always. The spring wasn't a particularly great time for me and I didn't have much of a libido then. Oddly enough that changed when I found out about this chat flirting.

As for the phone logs, they are pretty consistent with what she's been telling me. There are no calls on her days off (she doesn't go out with her co-workers on her days off) and on the nights when she went off drinking w/o me there, there are a lot of calls, but they're pretty much like an hour apart.

The thing for me that's difficult to come to grips with isn't so much the flirty chatting, I had started to deal with that after it happened. It's the fact that she broke her promise, twice, not to ever talk to him again or contact him. She lied, again and again, and that's what makes it so hard for me to believe her now. She is fighting tooth and nail now to save the marriage. She claims that she never slept with him, or so much as kissed him, and rarely saw him face to face. He doesn't work where she works anymore and she carpools a lot with the girls. I realize that now that her marriage is touch & go, she would not be likely to admit fucking him, but I honestly don't think she ever did. That is not to say it would not have happened down the line, had I not found out about all this.

There is something definitely going on with her, and I've told her that she needs to figure out what it is. She honestly seems confused by her own behavior. When a friend of hers was in town, and wanted to get laid, she tried to hook the friend up with this guy, because she knew he wasn't faithful to his wife (he has a history.) I found this morally reprehensible, while she justified it as saying that he will cheat on his wife anyway, and she'd rather see her friend hook up with someone better than some random guy in a bar. This kind of behavior is severely inconsistent with the kind of person she was when I married her. I think her time spent with her promiscuous co-workers and the fact that they refer to her as a name other than her actual name (for store purposes, her name was taken) has kind of created this dual personality, I always felt that way anyway and didn't like this new personality much. But that's my pop psychology bit for the day.

It may well be that my marriage won't survive this. I honestly don't know. I hope it will, I do love her and I don't doubt that she loves me - but that of course isn't the problem. I am hoping that counseling will provide me with some clarity in this regard. As much as she hates psychology, she readily agreed to come to counseling with me. So we'll see.