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genuinegirly · 07-14-2008, 09:36 PM

You two have waited long enough. You must deal with these issues together, today. Communication is key.

What HE needs to do:

- Speak individually with each of his family members and tell them that he loves you and intends to marry you. Tell them that the feelings you perceive they have toward you are tearing the two of you apart -- and he will not stand for that.

- Inform every family member who is aware of your seeming disloyalty in the past that you two have worked through it and he is confident you will not break his heart again.

- Propose on knee at a family function, after he has enjoyed the aforesaid conversations. Their cheers and smiles will give you confidence that they support your decision.

What YOU must do:

- Inform every family member who is aware of your seeming disloyalty in the past that you two have worked through it, and you will not break his heart again.

- Relate personally what you have related to us about the sister that you felt you wronged, to that sister. Inform her that you did not inform her parents and that you had no indication that her older brother would snitch. You simply wanted someone to confide in and someone to bounce ideas off of when it came to a difficult situation. Inform her that you love your boyfriend and that you would like to find a way to keep up a cordial friendship that is far from your current frigid relationship. Give her time. If in a month she still treats you the same, see how she likes cookies.

What you should do:

- Invest in stamps and a selection of blank note cards. Learn every family member's birthday and anniversary. Write personal cards to each person or couple on their special day, sharing your love for their family through a happy memory of the past. Write with good penmanship, without spelling errors or scratches. Keep this practice up for the entirety of your married life, or until older family members who appreciate good penmanship have passed away. If someone sends you a card or package, quickly send a thank-you. You will find, over time, you will become a favorite granddaughter-in-law, aunt, and sister-in-law. People will know you care. People will feel special because they have received an unexpected envelope via traditional post.

- When you have your bridal shower, insist that your maid of honor invite all female family members, no matter the tension in your relationship. Remember, you have a bachelorette party to enjoy time with your close friends.

Edit: Just re-read your post, and something caught my eye: He has to save up for a few months to get you an engagement ring? What financial stability will he provide? Or, maybe the better question is - what in the world kind of crazy expensive engagement ring is he considering? Re-evaluate your financial situation and consider going for a less expensive ring. If he has to save a few months for a ring, how long will it take the two of you to save enough for your wedding? Expect to spend a minimum of $14,000 on a wedding.

07-14-2008, 09:36 PM	#11 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	You two have waited long enough. You must deal with these issues together, today. Communication is key. What HE needs to do: - Speak individually with each of his family members and tell them that he loves you and intends to marry you. Tell them that the feelings you perceive they have toward you are tearing the two of you apart -- and he will not stand for that. - Inform every family member who is aware of your seeming disloyalty in the past that you two have worked through it and he is confident you will not break his heart again. - Propose on knee at a family function, after he has enjoyed the aforesaid conversations. Their cheers and smiles will give you confidence that they support your decision. What YOU must do: - Inform every family member who is aware of your seeming disloyalty in the past that you two have worked through it, and you will not break his heart again. - Relate personally what you have related to us about the sister that you felt you wronged, to that sister. Inform her that you did not inform her parents and that you had no indication that her older brother would snitch. You simply wanted someone to confide in and someone to bounce ideas off of when it came to a difficult situation. Inform her that you love your boyfriend and that you would like to find a way to keep up a cordial friendship that is far from your current frigid relationship. Give her time. If in a month she still treats you the same, see how she likes cookies. What you should do: - Invest in stamps and a selection of blank note cards. Learn every family member's birthday and anniversary. Write personal cards to each person or couple on their special day, sharing your love for their family through a happy memory of the past. Write with good penmanship, without spelling errors or scratches. Keep this practice up for the entirety of your married life, or until older family members who appreciate good penmanship have passed away. If someone sends you a card or package, quickly send a thank-you. You will find, over time, you will become a favorite granddaughter-in-law, aunt, and sister-in-law. People will know you care. People will feel special because they have received an unexpected envelope via traditional post. - When you have your bridal shower, insist that your maid of honor invite all female family members, no matter the tension in your relationship. Remember, you have a bachelorette party to enjoy time with your close friends. Edit: Just re-read your post, and something caught my eye: He has to save up for a few months to get you an engagement ring? What financial stability will he provide? Or, maybe the better question is - what in the world kind of crazy expensive engagement ring is he considering? Re-evaluate your financial situation and consider going for a less expensive ring. If he has to save a few months for a ring, how long will it take the two of you to save enough for your wedding? Expect to spend a minimum of $14,000 on a wedding. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy Last edited by genuinegirly; 07-14-2008 at 09:49 PM..