Bassist sounds like a shitty friend. I wouldn't set anyone I liked up to be a 'prebound' (is that a real word?), as that is just emotional distress city.
Screw being 'overbearing', what I've done in that situation before, and what I suggest you do, is lay down some ground rules. "Look, you're really great and all that, but unless you ditch this guy, we've run our course. I'm not going to be your 'other man'."
Maybe just put "Your Secret Love" (Luther Vandross) on next time you guys are in the car and see if she gets the point
Quote:
I won't be you secret love
'Cause it's just a waste of my love
I'm tellin' you from the start
I won't be the one who gives you love
When your other guy ain't givin' you none
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